Shadow of Israfel
by yusahana6323
Summary: In a world torn by war, Kuchen could not expect to remain isolated for long, and Orpherus will be the first to discover the cruelty and horror that war can bring. "If I could dwell where Israfel hath dwelt, and he where I..."
1. Chapter 1

_Here I am, my second Meine Liebe fic. Quite a bit darker and more mature than my first one, likely because of the influences that things in my life had in this story. No, nothing serious. Just things like books and music and pondering. More NC-17, I guess? Nothing is too graphic but yes, it is dark. -cues Versailles music- If it's higher than T, should I rate it M though nothing's entirely too bad? I don't know. Advice, please. :S  
_

_I have never had to do so much research for a fanfiction before. But I really wanted this one to be just right. There will be plotholes and other illogicals and such, but please know I've tried to get this as accurate as I possibly could, artistic license allowing._

_Okay, enough of preamble. Please enjoy. _

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**Prologue**

He emerged from the shop into the bright light of early afternoon. His eyes squinted against the sudden change, and he raised an arm over his face to shield his sight until it adjusted. However, he smiled as he did so - to Orpherus Fürst von Marmelade Nahe Görz, it was a wonderful day.

As his eyes finally became used to the sunlight of the outdoors, Orpherus began his way down the cobbled street, blue eyes taking in the sights. As a student at the prestigious Rosenstoltz Academy, it wasn't often he was able to come into town, and as a nobleman, he very rarely was able to see the life of the lower-class. The energetic bustling activity of the scenery always brought a smile to his lips. When he saw things like this, it allowed his mind a bit of a break from the constant worrying his life position brought to him.

He couldn't complain. He loved his life; there was so much he was blessed with that he was entirely grateful for. But sometimes the stress of studies, of managing, of worrying about the security of the kingdom, proved to be almost too much. It was those times he offered himself escape by walking among the common people. It was for their sake he was studying law and politics, and being with them and feeling their joys and pains eased him.

Orpherus stopped for a moment outside a familiar café and glanced around. Seeing no one he knew, he chose his own seat and rested himself. Within a few moments, a waitress stopped by.

"Lord Orpherus, it's good to see you again."

"Same to you." He smiled brilliantly at her. "Have you seen Isaac today?"

"Not today. I suppose he's probably out on business."

That would be likely. With the state of the nation and those countries surrounding it, Isaac would be busy, even more so as an outsider. "I see."

"Can I get you something?"

"Just a cup of tea, please." He still had a bit of time. "Two sugars."

"Sure thing. Please wait just a few minutes."

He opened his newly-bought book as she hurried away, blew some of his rumpled blonde bangs out of his eyes, and began reading. It was one he had ordered awhile ago that had finally come, and as he got a few pages into it he was relieved to see that it had been worth the wait. He sipped lightly at his tea as it arrived, immersed in his reading.

"Sir?"

He raised his head at the inquiry. Before him stood a ruffled, homely man. He closed his book.

"Is there something I can do for you?"

"You're a student at the Academy, right?"

His accent was a bit strange, but if it weren't for the fact he spoke the language fluently Orpherus might have said he was a foreigner. Perhaps just someone from another area? That thought excited him. He'd only ever had interaction with the people in his home territory and those in this town, along with a few others from Ludwig's and Camus's home areas. Conversing with someone from another area could be very educational.

"That's correct. I am a Strahl Candidate at Rosenstoltz."

"Can I ask for your assistance with something?"

"Of course."

Orpherus stood, leaving a coin on the table. He was about to leave when a loud, "Orphe!" reached his ears. Turning, he saw his best friend Eduard approaching quickly.

"Ed, what is it?"

The auburn-haired marquis-to-be stopped nearby, green eyes glinting. "Don't give me that. It's almost curfew. If we hadn't violated so many rules already, I wouldn't be here, but you know you will get in trouble if you cross even another line. Let's go."

Orpherus hesitated, but Eduard glared, and the blonde sighed. "Right." He turned back to the man. "I'm sorry, but I must return to school immediately."

"No."

That was surprising. His sapphire eyes blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"You will come with me."

The man grabbed his arm and yanked him along – losing his balance, Orpherus had to follow. He heard Eduard's yell behind him. He tried to pull free, tried to resist, but the man was strong. As he was dragged down an alleyway, he heard Eduard behind him.

"Stop!" was Eduard's yell that sounded almost on his heels.

The man turned - there was a metallic flash and a loud gunshot. Orpherus jumped, eyes flashing wide open. He had been shot before... his mind counted out the seconds it had taken for his body to react to the pain. He felt nothing, though... but then his frightened mind registered Eduard's strangled yelp. He whirled to see his best friend hit his knees, clutching his shoulder.

"Ed!"

He tried to rush forward to help, but a strong hand roughly caught him and twisted his arm behind his back. A cold barrel pressed into the side of his head.

"Not so fast."

His body froze up in response. His eyes remained fastened on Eduard, who was now struggling to get back up. He saw his friend's malachite eyes raise to him. Rich crimson was pouring readily out of his injured shoulder, staining his navy uniform.

"Orphe -"

"Move and he's dead." The gun pressed deeper into his temple. Orpherus winced, and the hand twisting his arms behind his back yanked on him. "He's coming with us."

"Damn you!" Eduard yelled. He did, however, remain in place, eying the gun wearily, angrily.

"Ed -"

"Quiet. Come quietly, and we won't hurt your friend any more."

"Why are you doing this?" Orpherus asked chokingly, trying to fight back the pain the gun was digging into him. "What do you want?"

"Come quietly. Otherwise..."

He heard another gun cocked, and he looked hard out of the very side of his eye to see it pointed straight at Eduard. Two more men had appeared at the mouth of the alley, guns held close to their side as they looked out into the busier street. If he made much more noise, they would be likely to shoot innocent passersby that might come to look.

"I got it," he said faintly. "I understand."

"Good boy."

"Orphe!"

Eduard sounded completely strangled. Orpherus shook his head as the gun was moved from his temple, and the last thing he saw was Eduard staring, eyes panicked, before sharp pain cracked through his head, dropping a curtain of black over his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter One**

"Lord Eduard!"

"Please stay calm!"

"I will not! Let me go!"

"You can hardly stand. Please rest a moment!"

"I will not!'

He continued struggling, ignoring their pleas and the screaming pain in his left shoulder. Orpherus, Orpherus...! He had been right there, and yet unable to do anything. He would go after those men and tear them apart with his bare hands. Horror and anger kept the adrenaline pumping through him, bursting every time the sight of Orpherus with a gun pressed deep into his temple flashed in front of his eyes, every time the blonde had been hit over the head and crumbled into their arms replayed itself in his mind. He would _not_ let them get away... he would not let Orpherus be harmed again.

"Lord Eduard!"

"Let me go!"

"Ed!"

There was a familiar voice. He ceased his struggling long enough to glance over at the door. Ludwig, Naoji, and Camus were there.

"Ed, what happened?" Naoji asked, obsidian eyes alight with concern.

Eduard started up again, trying his hardest to pull free of the nurses that were holding him back as best they could. "I have to go after them!"

"After who?" Camus (asked). He was pale and trembling - he had probably sensed what was going on.

"Ed, please calm down -" the Japanese student tried to say reassuringly.

He exploded. "They took Orphe!"

Naoji clammed up, and Camus became paler, wobbling on his feet. Ludwig's expression didn't change, but Eduard might have sworn he had seen those amethyst eyes flash.

"They took Orphe! I was right there... right with him... and they took him! I'll find them and kill them!"

"Who were they?" Naoji (asked), slightly faintly.

"I don't know... but they -"

"Calm down."

The quiet, clipped command from Ludwig surprised Eduard, and he did indeed cease struggling in order to stare.

"If you carry on like this," the young Duke-to-be continued in that same voice, "you will alarm the other students."

"I don't care!" Eduard snarled, beginning his fight again.

"You will if you cause a big enough disturbance and Orpherus's captors find out. You realize that every detectable move you make brings danger to him, don't you?" Another flicker in those eyes. "Do not give them reason to hurt him any more. Certainly you don't want to bring more harm to him."

Slowly, Eduard forced himself to relax, and as he stopped fighting the nurses wrestled him back down to the bed. The other three stayed in the doorway until the nurses had (fluttered) away to get the doctor before they approached. Now Eduard lay silently, staring up at the ceiling.

"Ed." A light, slender hand touched his - Camus's. Eduard fought back angry, frustrated tears.

"I was right there... he wasn't even ten feet from me. And... and..."

His hand clenched on the covers. Slowly, softly, both of Camus's tiny hands folded around his. It was comforting, somehow, but he was so distant he could hardly feel the warmth that poured into his skin from Camus's touch.

"Who were they?" Naoji (asked). "What did they want?"

"They didn't say... they wanted him, that's for sure, but..."

"Any distinguishing features?"

"I don't know."

"Anything can help, Ed," the Japanese man said soothingly. "The littlest hint might help the authorities find them. Think carefully."

He didn't want to. He just wanted Orpherus back. He didn't want to think about the bastards that had hurt his best friend. But Naoji was right... his wisdom and presence were somehow relaxing. Eduard tried to reflect, to straighten out the panicked memories.

"Their accents were strange... I'd never heard anything like them. And the way they spoke was a bit different. But they didn't look too out of the ordinary."

"How did they handle their guns?"

That was Ludwig's voice. Eduard looked up at the tall, darkly man. Still his expression was the same as ever, his voice cool.

"Expertly. Just as well as Isaac."

A calculating look flashed through those eyes, and suddenly, Ludwig turned, briskly walking to the door.

"Lui!" Camus called.

"Lui!" Eduard echoed. At Eduard's voice, Ludwig paused. "Where are you going?"

"Home."

"Home?! Aren't you going to do anything about Orphe?"

No response. Eduard's rage bubbled up again. He had thought, surely, that Ludwig would try to be of some help. Naoji and Camus were always praising him for his gentle, caring spirit. Was it just them? Eduard didn't think he had ever seen anything from Ludwig that he considered to be particularly caring.

"You owe him!"

"Tell me what I owe him, Eduard, and I'll decide if that holds any sway over me."

"He tried so hard to protect you. You didn't see him being so upset, fretting every day, about how he was going to prove your innocence. You didn't see him wear himself thin as he tried to do absolutely everything in his power to help you. You have no idea how worried he was about you! So help him!"

Another pause, and then Ludwig was gone. Eduard let out a long, frustrated growl, violently swinging an arm up to hide his eyes. He wanted to cry... cry, scream, punch something. He didn't know what to do, and still those horrifying images continued to repeat in his view over and over.

"Ed... it's okay. Orphe is strong."

"We'll find him."

They were words he needed to hear, but didn't want to hear. It was his fault... all his fault. If he had been just a few minutes earlier, or if he had just gone with Orphe in the first place...

He felt as though he had committed some indelible sin, and he hated it.

~.oOOo.~

Naoji and Camus chose to accompany him a few days later. It was the soonest he could leave without feeling too much pain. His shoulder was tightly bound, and the ache was ever-present, but he could care less. Eduard felt he deserved it, since he hadn't been able to do anything to help.

"Where are we going, Ed?" Camus asked tentatively.

"To see Orphe's parents." His voice choked up slightly at the mention of his friend's name, but he managed to force his overflow of emotion down. "Though I'd rather not tell them, they should know what's happened to their son."

"This will be difficult for them," Naoji said quietly. It was more of a question than a statement, really, but Naoji knew just as well as any of them. "They only lost their daughter a few years ago."

"Orphe is not dead." Eduard said it vehemently. "He is not dead."

"I'm sorry, Ed... I didn't mean it like that..."

Eduard didn't reply, just bowed over himself, head in his hands. How was he going to break the news to the Görz family? There was certainly going to be an explosion of some kind. Did he just tell them from the very beginning, or should he lead into it?

The carriage stopped, which only meant they had arrived. He straightened up and opened the door, jumping out. Camus and Naoji were beside him within seconds, and together they all stared up at the large Görz mansion. A long pause, in which Eduard tried to get ahold of himself again. Orpherus's parents had been so kind to him through all these years, and they always welcomed him whenever he had come. He had always felt almost as if they were his own parents, like this was his own house. He and Orpherus were just as close as brothers. So to tell those parents now that their true-blood son was gone, and he had done nothing to help...

Abruptly he started forward, and Naoji and Camus followed him to the front door. The butler greeted them with a warm smile.

"Lord Eduard, it's good to see you again."

"Thank you." He wanted to smile, but his mouth wouldn't let him. "I need to speak with Fürst and Fürstin Görz. It's of utmost importance."

"Certainly, Lord Eduard." The butler opened the door and led them in, up the vast staircase to a large room. "Please wait here. I will inform the master and mistress that you have come."

They all sat and waited quietly. Naoji and Camus looked as though they wanted to speak with him and comfort him, but they didn't, and he was grateful. He still was trying to figure out how he was going to break the news to them. He didn't even know who had taken Orpherus. His hands clenched, and he fought back the urge to hit himself.

He heard the door open, and the three youth rose and turned in order to greet the master and mistress of the house. What Eduard didn't expect, though, was to have Orpherus's mother crying, and his father already looking grieved.

"Fürst... Fürstin... I -"

"Eduard." Orpherus's mother spoke first. Her voice was trembling. "Did you know that Orpherus has been taken?"

They knew already. He stared at them. Orpherus's father, to whom Orpherus and his sister Robertine had looked exactly like, drew a letter from his breast pocket.

"We received this just a day ago." His voice was heavily-controlled. Eduard could see in those blue eyes that he, too, was trying not to break down. Slowly, Eduard moved around the couch to approach them. Fürst Görz gave him the letter without hesitation, holding his wife close as Eduard unfolded the paper to read. Almost instantly Naoji and Camus were beside him again, peering around him.

_To the Noble Court of Görz,_

_Your country has been stubborn in its relations with us. Many times we have approached with intentions of making you our allies, but we have been refuted. Our great leader has grown tired of the games of your king. A relationship with Kuchen has become necessary for us, and your country would benefit from our strength, but still your king insists on isolationism. This we cannot allow._

_Since you have influence in the palace, and relations to many others just as influential, we thought perhaps if your son were to come with us, you might be willing to try and make a change. Do not worry - he will be treated well. He, too, is of superior race, and will be welcomed in our country as a great progenitor. But, if you wish him to someday return to Kuchen, your country and ours must join forces. Otherwise, we will have no reason to send him home._

_We, and your son, trust you to make the right choice._

His hands were shaking, gripping the paper so tightly it almost ripped. They had taken Orpherus - a mere student - simply for such sick, twisted political purposes? Did Orpherus know this? His insides went cold. Orpherus would never allow Kuchen to surrender to foreign powers simply because of his life. If he knew the reason for his abduction, he would kill himself before Kuchen could even hope to enter negotiation.

"Eduard, do you know anything about this? Is it true?" the mother whispered.

"It... it's true. I was with him when he was taken." His voice was broken. He couldn't control it as well as Fürst Görz. "They shot me to keep me from helping him, then put a gun to his head and another to mine. He went with them to save me. I couldn't... I couldn't do anything..."

A tear slipped down Fürst Görz's face. Eduard turned his head, ashamed, as his own tears broke free. He couldn't look at that face... not Orpherus's father's face, not his mother's. It was all his fault. Suddenly, he felt himself embraced, and he turned back to see Fürstin Görz hugging him tightly. He completely broke down now, holding her back. Naoji and Camus stood off to the side, also crying, but unsure what to do.

He wanted Orpherus back... he would get Orpherus back. He swore his life to it.


	3. Chapter 3

This is a short chapter... I might post another one later this week, but we'll see. And Anna, to answer your question: No. This story is completely unrelated to On My Chest. No close relationship between Orpherus and Ludwig. :D

On with the chapter!

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**Chapter Two**

_Dear Diary,_

_Finally my captors relented and allowed me usage of a single notebook. It was all I had begged of them, and, after several days, they grew tired of my asking. Now I will be able to keep note of all that has happened._

_They must have knocked me out in that alley, for when I became aware of my surroundings I felt myself at sea. I was down in the cabin of a ship, and quite obviously leaving Kuchen. My captors had bound my arms behind my back and stripped me of my academy coat, likely to keep me from looking too suspicious. They had probably carried me on deck looking like a sickly friend. I cannot remember much of staying awake there on the ship._

_When I awoke again, I was on a train. My captors were with me in the car, and told me to keep quiet or they would ensure my family and friends would come to harm. I was silent and looked out the window, trying to figure out where I was. As I listened to them speak among themselves, they spoke Deutsch, but of a different variety than what we speak in Kuchen. I reasoned that it must be mainland Deutsch, and therefore I was now on the mainland._

_Arriving at the station, they pushed me into a carriage and took me a short distance to a fortress, into which I was forced. I listened to them speak with a military commander, and learned that I was a hostage against Kuchen. The commander gave them permission to place me in this fortress, and it is in this cell that I am now residing._

_They have brought me food, but I have refused it. I will not allow myself to rely on their aid. Surely in a few days my country will send aid for me. Until then, I should be able to survive._

_I worry now about whether or not Ed is safe. My captors had told me that so long as I went quietly with them, he would be spared. I trust them, but I still worry about him. Even though I went along, if Ed had tried to fight they might have killed him. I pray that he is safe, and that Naoji, Camus, and Ludwig are also safe. I also pray for the safety of the other students at the academy, and the people of the town. If any came to harm because of me, I would grieve forever._

_Lord bless my poor mother, who will not be able to handle the news of my abduction well. I am alive. Please comfort her and help her to continue to believe in me. Lord bless my father, that he will remain calm as he always has, and be able to manage this situation with the king._

_I pray that the Lord will also bless me, and help me get through this. I will not allow anything to befall my country, so long as it is in my power to do so._


	4. Chapter 4

_Me: -changes rating on this story to M-_

_Friend: M?! That's your first M-rated story! You sick person!_

_Me: ......._

_Actually I don't really care, lol. I figured Meine Liebe deserved a more serious story. And yeah... dealing with more mature themes. And so long as the Nazis at campus aren't overly Nazi and don't find this fic I won't get kicked out, so hah. Hah. ... Yesss._

_So I will be posting maybe a bit faster on this story. But we'll see. Tests and midterms are coming up already. -flails unhappily- If only I had Lui's brilliant mind..._

_Enough of my blathering. :D But thanks to those of you that are reading! Hurray!_

_

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_

**Chapter Three**

Tea was sombre, without much conversation. There wasn't much to be done about that - there was no topic to have a light chat about, not today... probably not for awhile. But being with Orpherus's parents was somewhat comforting, though painful, to Eduard. He felt as though they didn't blame him for what had happened to their son. He would disagree with them, but it was nice to feel like he was being forgiven.

"Why are you three here?" the Fürst suddenly asked. "You should be at school."

"The Headmaster dismissed school," Camus said quietly. "He sent all the students home."

"It would be easier that way," Naoji added. "That way..."

Orpherus wouldn't be noticed missing. Eduard felt himself twitch. Surely the Headmaster had heard about what the situation had been like not too long ago, when Ludwig had been in a compromising position. Ludwig's escape had been too conspicuous, and campus had been in a tense, tearful state. This was better... all the students, having been excused a day after the kidnapping, for which Eduard had been the only witness, would never know what had happened.

There was a knock at the door, and the butler entered with a bow.

"Master, Mistress, you have a visitor."

"Please allow him in," said the Fürst.

The elderly man opened the door, and in strode a taller, darkly man with a regal bearing. Eduard almost jerked to his feet as Ludwig stopped not too far away and bowed deeply.

"Fürst and Fürstin Görz, I am Ludwig of the Liechtenstein Court."

"Herzog Liechtenstein's son?" Orpherus's parents stood. "We are pleased to make your acquaintance. What may we do for you?"

Ludwig straightened up now, and the three students stared as he said, "I have come bearing the help of the Liechtenstein and of the Royal Court in searching for your son Orpherus."

They looked stunned - Eduard, Naoji, and Camus felt just the same. Ludwig continued in the wake of their silence, "After hearing of Orpherus being taken captive I went home in order to speak with my father about what should be done. Gaining audience with the King, I spoke with him as well. The Court decided that this atrocity cannot be overlooked, and will use their power in order to find him and punish whatever power has had hand in this. Through me, you will have access to the power of the Liechtenstein household in order to assist at any time. I also bear with me an invite to the Palace in order to speak directly with His Majesty about what should be done."

"Lui," Naoji said, voice hoarse.

"Lord Ludwig, we are deeply in your debt," Fürst Görz said weakly, bowing low to him.

A flicker in those eyes. "Not at all. Orpherus is my dearest companion. I will do everything in my power to bring him home safely."

~.oOOo.~

It was late, and Orpherus's parents had graciously allowed for the four of them to stay the night. Eduard knocked at Ludwig's door and was rewarded with, "Enter." Biting his lip, the dark boy pushed the door open and entered the room. As the door clicked shut again, violet eyes flicked up.

"What do you want, Eduard?"

"What are you up to?" Eduard challenged.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Going off on your own... is this another ploy you're pulling in order to elevate yourself and your family?"

"You were the one that said I owed Orpherus." Ludwig's tone was disapproving. "And now you try to read too much into the help I offer in order to repay his kindness and concern. I alerted His Majesty to the crisis that has risen its head and swallowed Orpherus as an appetizer. Should I have stood around and cried like the rest of you?"

Eduard hated Ludwig sometimes. His words were always true, but his tone always made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He couldn't take that condescending colour he painted with his words. He glowered.

"Why not tell us you were going to help?"

"Are you sure you're just not the only one that didn't know? I don't see Naoji and Camus in here trying to accuse me of unworthy motives."

"And what you said about Orphe, being your most precious companion..."

Ludwig looked calmly up at Eduard for a long time before he said, just as coolly, "Do you take issue with me saying that?"

He didn't know how to respond. Ludwig turned back to his book.

"I must have Orpherus return. Without Orpherus, I go nowhere. That is all there is to it."

"Lui... if you want to bring him back because you're worried about him, it's fine to just say so," Eduard said quietly after a bit of a pause. He thought he saw those eyes flicker again, but Ludwig still didn't reply. Slowly, Eduard turned and left, shutting the door silently.

For a few moments, he stood outside the door, gripping his aching shoulder. The pressure added a bit of relief, so he kept it on there. It hurt, to feel like he had to suspect Ludwig, but the elder had proven on several occasions he acted in his own interest. Eduard wanted to know what self-centred reason he had to pull the royal court into this... and for Orpherus, whom he was bitter rivals with, no less!

He couldn't think about it right now. With a sigh, he pushed off from the door and went back down the hall.

~.oOOo.~

The four students remained at the Görz mansion when Orpherus's parents left to go to audience with the King. They were gathered in a sitting room, tensely quiet. Eduard was stiff, still worrying about Orpherus. Where exactly had he been taken? Was he still in Kuchen somewhere, or had the abductors gone mainland?

"Lui," Camus tried tentatively. Eduard's gaze turned to the young Duke, who was calmly reading as always. "Do you know something we don't? About Orphe?"

"What do you know?"

"Only that he's been taken for ransom."

"It's from a foreign power, obviously," Naoji added, "but there are so many attempting to gain alliance with Kuchen that it's hard to guess."

"Given the fact that they could apparently speak clearly to us, and judging from the tone in the ransom letter sent to the Royal Court..." Ludwig raised his gaze for a moment. "I would say Deutschland."

A long, horrified silence. Eduard tried to speak for a few moments before his voice would come.

"But... they..."

"I see you understand the gravity of Orpherus's situation." There was that strange light in his deep violet eyes again. "Yes, Deutschland is rapidly gaining power in Europa. Kuchen, so far, has managed to escape its political influence. How some military officers managed to sneak into the country and get intimate details on the students in a government academy is something beyond my understanding. But, they got their hands on very good bait, politically speaking. Orpherus, who is the very embodiment of their ideal human being, can serve more than simple ransom purpose for them."

"They'll... Orphe..."

"Since this doesn't allow much time, I decided it was best to let His Majesty know the details on the situation." Ludwig's gaze turned to Eduard. "Knowing Orpherus as I do, no matter what value he places on life, he places higher value on his loyalty to the country."

Eduard felt very weak. "Lui..."

"Deutschland's values are fearsome. I wish for Orpherus to return in one piece and in shape to continue being my opponent." A bit of a pause. "What do you think, Eduard?"

He couldn't speak. He felt himself swaying on his feet. Just what had he let Orpherus pass into?

"Should I still help?" Ludwig continued.

"Lui..." It was a plead. "You wouldn't abandon him to that... just because..."

"As I said, Orpherus must return. For that, I will stake everything in order to bring him back." Ludwig's eyes were boring painfully into him now. "Can you accept that?"

Without the royal court involved, there was no hope. And Ludwig certainly was right... he knew Orpherus well enough to realize that Orpherus's loyalties were strong enough that he would cut off any reason for Kuchen to enter negotiations with another country if it was within his power, no matter what the cost. If Orpherus died... Eduard's stomach clenched so painfully he almost crumbled.

"Don't give out," came Ludwig's voice now. Through his haze, Eduard stared into that calm, collected face. "If you give up, it's over. It hurts to know the truth. It's difficult. But if you cannot push forward with all your strength, you let down more than just yourself."

How could his words slice so coldly through Eduard? But he needed that guidance. Glancing at Camus and Naoji, their faces reflected his inner feelings. Slowly, he nodded.

"I want to do everything I can... to bring him back. To bring him home," Eduard said shakily.

He thought he saw a smile flit across Ludwig's face briefly, but it was gone within an instant. Silence settled back into the room, and Eduard found himself staring out the window across the mansion grounds now. Knowing, with good evidence, who might have taken Orpherus served to lend more tension to the still quiet tightening the air.

It had been almost a week now. It made him feel uptight, to think that they hadn't heard any news of a student found abroad or anything of the sort. And, if it were indeed Deutschland that had him... Ludwig's implications hung heavily in the air. The ransom letter assuring that Orpherus would be well-kept was nothing but a lie.

Eduard suddenly noticed something as he caught Ludwig's reflection in the glass. He observed it quietly for a few moments before he confirmed it. Ludwig wasn't reading. Instead, his eyes were fixated on one spot on the page, gazing right through it.

A smile twitched at the corner of Eduard's mouth at that, even as his panic at the sight increased. If Ludwig was worried... this was indeed a grave situation.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four**

_I am not sure exactly how long it has been since I was taken, but it has been at the very least a week. After three days being kept in this fortress and having heard nothing of aid from Kuchen, I grudgingly began to eat. It is not much – only enough to barely keep myself alive – but I will survive. I must return to my homeland. _

_I have not been told the reason why I was taken. I become more and more convinced every day that I am in Deutschland, not only from listening to the language, but the content of the conversation of the soldiers that keep watch over me. I become worried as I listen. I do not know much of Deutschland's current state, having only what little I heard at school and in the news back home. However, I have knowledge enough to fear for myself what they may try to coerce me into doing._

_There are already hints. A young lady has been bringing me food since I started eating again. It is not difficult to guess my captors' intents behind this. I will not look at her, nor take any interest in her. I will not allow myself to be used as a tool to further their sickening political goals. I may be bringing myself into immediate danger refusing to take their bait, but I will not degrade myself nor the image of my country for them._

_Besides this young lady, a man often comes in to check on me. He tries to speak with me, but I do my best to ignore him. He seems somehow familiar... perhaps I am missing my father so much I am projecting onto this man. Though he seems kind, I am wary that it might be some kind of ruse. What motivations there are behind this, I do not know. I do not, at the moment, wish to figure them out._

_I manage to keep myself going by reflecting on all my memories I have. Painful ones, joyful ones, ones that always bring tears to my eyes... they are all I have here. They are all of my identity I have. Here in my cell, there is nothing. So, in order to keep ahold of my very being, I must remember. _

_And as I remember, I long for my family, for my school, for my friends. I long to joke with Eduard, to sit in Naoji's calming presence, to see Camus's smiling face, to hear Ludwig's powerful voice. Isaac as well... I wonder what he will say when he hears of my predicament! When I return, I will surely get a lecture from him. Ed is likely very angry with me, since I seem to get myself into these situations quite often and I always trouble him due to this. Camus and Naoji must be very worried, and I can only hope that Camus is not so upset that he is extremely sick. I wonder how Ludwig thinks. I would like to hope he is concerned, but when it comes to Lui, I am never entirely sure. No doubt when I return, he too will lecture me. Though I normally am irritated when he tries to discipline me, I find myself looking forward to such a reprimand._

_As I write of them, I firmly believe that I am going to see them again, but for some reason, my heart feels cloudy as if all these memories are going to be all I have to see their faces. I cannot let that govern me, however... I believe I will return home. I must continue to believe this sure fact._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Five**

"So they have confirmed it."

"Yes." Fürst Görz rubbed his temples. "The King and his advisors are very certain that those men were Deutschen."

Ludwig nodded, only slightly, his eyes alight with calculation. "It makes sense. There are many motivations for the Deutsch military to take someone like Orpherus."

Fürstin Görz was silent - she still looked very upset, like she was on the brink of crying. Eduard couldn't blame her... it had only been a few years earlier that Robertine had been lost forever. Just the thought that Orpherus was in danger would be very wearing. Eduard reached over and put his hand gently over hers. Tremblingly, she smiled at him, and he managed to smile back.

"Orphe is strong," he said quietly. "He is fine."

She nodded, but her expression didn't change other than that tentative smile. Eduard hated that he couldn't do anything to comfort her more. She always treated him like her own son...

A knock at the door, and the Fürst called, "Enter."

In strode a man, full in military outfit, that made the four students start. He came to a stop and saluted.

"Isaac Cavendish, from Britannien. I have been sent by my superiors in order to aid in the recovery of your son Orpherus, Fürst Görz. Britannien is infuriated at this route of action. They were alerted to it by a Rosenstoltz graduate living abroad who sighted Orpherus being taken."

"Thank you," was the faint reply from the Fürst. "I am overwhelmed by the kindness you are all showing towards my family."

Isaac's grey eyes glanced towards Ludwig. "Lui, I assume you have a plan."

"Naturally." It was said calmly, but Isaac's expression changed slightly.

"Fürst Görz, I also assume you're keeping in touch with His Majesty in order to work something out."

"Yes. I want to get my son back... as quickly as possible, with minimal risk to Kuchen."

"Lui?"

"I will go before His Majesty with Fürst Görz tomorrow in order to discuss what should be done. You should come along."

"Understood."

"Please excuse us," the Fürst said after a bit of silence. "I need to talk with my wife."

They all nodded, and Orpherus's parents left the room. As the door clicked shut, Isaac's expression sharpened somewhat.

"Ed, you were with him when he was taken."

He shut his eyes tightly. "Yes, I was."

"It might be painful, but I need you to describe those men to the best of your abilities. If you can give me enough details, I may be able to root out exactly who they are."

"Indeed, that would be good information," Ludwig agreed.

"Isn't that Rosenstoltz graduate keeping tabs?"

"How close of a watch do you think he can keep on Orphe before someone suspects him? We should be grateful we know exactly what country he's in."

"He is in Deutschland, correct?" Ludwig asked.

"Yes. I figured you would have been able to deduce that much." The elder man leaned back on a couch that was behind him. "Orpherus has been taken to Deutschland."

So he was in the monster's talons. Though the probability had been great, Eduard had been hoping Orpherus would be elsewhere. That wild hope was gone now.

"He is probably being kept in a high-security area in Berlin, where government is," Isaac continued. "That would be my guess. We've yet to receive any more information from our informant, who may or may not be able to help us any more than he already has." He crossed his arms over his chest. "But I want you boys to know that you're not going to be directly involved in recovering Orpherus."

Eduard jerked to his feet. "What do you mean?!"

"I mean what I said, Eduard." Those ice-grey eyes turned to him. "I understand you want to get him back no matter what, but this is more than you just losing your best friend. What those men did has sparked huge arguments in governments throughout all of Europa. This is something beyond Kuchen, and it's beyond the power of adolescents. If you want to help Orphe, pray for him, and prepare yourselves for the person he's likely to have become. He's going to have changed, whether you like it or not."

"But -"

"Ed." Isaac's voice was very sharp now. "You'd like to help. I understand. But please... leave the recovery to the adults. What Orphe is going to need you for is healing."

"That's true..." Camus said quietly. "There really isn't too much we can do with the way things are right now, is there?"

"Camus!"

"Ed," Naoji said quietly. "Believe us, we want to help Orpherus as much as you do. But, what can we do? Orphe is... in a dangerous situation. One wrong move could put him in more danger -"

"He's already in danger! What if he's found out what he's being held ransom for? What do you think he'll do when he discovers that?!"

"All the more reason," the Japanese man continued, "to be as quick and precise as possible. Best leave it to the people that know how to deal with this."

"I -"

"Eduard." Ludwig's voice now. As usual, it sliced as keenly as a sword. "What do you think you can do? If you charge in recklessly as you usually do, you will be the cause of Orpherus's death. Besides... how would he feel, if something happened to you because you could not wait?"

It hurt. Eduard didn't want to show them how much their words hurt, but he had never been good at hiding his feelings. Ludwig's eyes were flickering again.

"In this case, you should think of his feelings. You were with him when he was taken. Surely your life was threatened. What did he do?"

A gun had been pointed at him. He remembered that clearly. He remembered the fear in Orpherus's blue eyes at seeing that. It had been at that threat Orpherus had caved to the men's demands he go along. If he hadn't been there, Orpherus would have taken the shot to the head. Eduard crumbled. Of course... it was all his fault. He slammed a dark fist into the table, clenching his hand tightly, trying to keep his shoulders from shaking. He couldn't look at them... not at their pitying faces.

A hand touched his shoulder, and his head jerked up to look at Isaac. His grey eyes were soft.

"Ed, it hurts, and I understand it does. I promise I'll bring him back safely for you. But I'll need you to help him once he gets here. You are his dearest friend. His greatest need for you is here, at home, where he will need to rest and regain himself. I already told you he will have changed. I'll leave it up to you to help guide him back to get him as close to his former self as possible. That is the most important thing. Do you understand?"

He couldn't hold it in - he hung his head and let the sharp, hot tears burn their way down his face.

_Orphe_, he prayed, _I need you. Please... please don't go somewhere I can't follow._

~.oOOo.~

They returned to school a few days later, grudgingly, but figuring it was better to do something. Keeping busy might ease the worry a bit. Eduard didn't find it so, but he supposed it was better than staying at Orpherus's empty, tense house. All the other students, when they questioned about Orpherus, were told that he was attending to family matters at home and would be unable to return for some amount of time.

Ludwig disappeared from classes a couple of times, but upon return would not speak of what he had been called home for. The other three knew it concerned Orpherus, but Naoji and Camus did their best to pacify Eduard, telling him that Ludwig would speak when he felt it was the right time.

Eduard didn't want to wait. He understood that, after giving as much information to Isaac as possible, he couldn't do anything more about it. He hated himself for even admitting it internally... but even so, he wanted to know what was going on. Had they heard from Orpherus? Did they know where he was? Was he okay? He just wanted details. Any little details... Eduard felt almost that he would kiss Ludwig's feet just to know if Orpherus's health had been mentioned.

Orpherus had saved him. Those gentle words and smile had been what had been his salvation from becoming a cold, cruel, hate-filled creature like Beruze had been. To most people, the extent to which Eduard was willing to go to protect or save Orpherus might have seemed extreme... but for that smile and that warm companionship that had been given to him when everyone else had done nothing but look down their noses at him or turn their backs to him, he was willing to do anything.

"Eduard."

He whirled in the library. Ludwig was leaning against the bookshelf, book held delicately in hand. He was examining the cover, as if to gauge whether it was worth reading. Eduard didn't know why he bothered - Ludwig had probably read all the books in the library.

"Lui," he said, almost shortly.

He was rewarded with that flickering look he had grown so used to, but that was also followed by, "You should come for some tea this evening. I'm sure you're aware that Naoji's tea is the very best."

That meant something. Otherwise, Eduard might not have said, "Sure thing."

So he was at Ludwig's door at evening tea, where Camus was barely knocking. The door opened, and Naoji welcomed them into the room. Ludwig was already seated at the table, reading as he could usually be found. Eduard noticed it was the book that Ludwig had taken so little interest in earlier. He seated himself beside Camus, accepting the tea that Naoji placed in front of them.

"Lui," Camus said, glancing at his cousin with rubied eyes, "what's going on?"

Eduard's jade eyes fastened on the young Duke, who continued reading for a few more moments before he looked up at the other expectant three.

"My father and I are being sent to Deutschland in order to negotiate Orpherus's release."


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, I know it says I updated, but I realized: I never did post the actual chapter 4. D8 Talk about epic fail. So I updated it to put that back in its real place, thus moving everything up.

I will post chapter seven in the next few days though. Promise. :)

* * *

**Chapter Six**

_I am still refusing to eat more than what is absolutely necessary for survival. Perhaps it is due to this I have been sleeping longer, barely able to stay conscious. Because I do not know what is day or night anymore, I do not know how long I have been in captivity._

_Though I cannot hear the conversations clearly, I have learned of the state of Deutschland from listening to the guards positioned outside my cell room. Hearing all the hideous, horrible things that are being inflicted upon the people of this land makes my stomach roil. I have a hard time keeping down what little I do consume._

_I cannot believe people like the Deutschen's "Great Leader" exist. How is he great? How are the millions of people he has slaughtered thus killed in the name of justice? There is nothing right about this, and I am growing worried that such will happen to my country should their influence be wrought on Kuchen. _

_My handwriting is shaky... I should sleep, I suppose, but I feel wide awake. A deep fear is growing more and more within me, and due to it I do not think I will be able to rest. I still have heard nothing from my country, and I wonder if I have gone forgotten. If Eduard were alive, he surely would have raised the alarm. I cannot, however, bring myself to think him dead, no matter how much the evidence I have deduced may point otherwise. I will not think him dead. The fear beats at me every day - fear that he has come to harm, that the others have come to harm - but I cannot surrender myself to it. I must resist the want to give myself to despair._

_I weep now thinking of my friends. It surely has only been a few weeks, but when I try to recall their faces now from my mind, their features are faded, like pencil on old paper. As soon as I received this notebook I did some ink sketches of all of them. That is the only way I can remember them now, no matter how many times I try to recall the memories, which dance just out of my grasp. Surely I have not forgotten them... surely it is just the fatigue and the hunger that are an impediment to my most precious thoughts._

_A few days ago, some of my captors brought that young lady I have previously mentioned into my room and demanded that I join with her, in order to produce nobility for their so-called 'perfect race', that I should do it for the sake of their motherland. They must be frustrated that I have not given myself to temptation, of which I feel none. I refused. They continued to argue with me, but I refused every time. After awhile, they left her with me. I would not look at her, nor respond to her attempts to draw my attention. Eventually she, too, left._

_The look that haunted their eyes when I gave my final refusal frightens me. I fear for myself._


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Seven**

They all stared at Ludwig for some time before Eduard demanded, "What are you saying?"

"What you heard. My father and I are leaving for Deutschland the day after tomorrow."

Camus looked very frightened, and was shaking as if all warmth had left him. "Lui... why you?"

"We received another letter threatening Orpherus's life if Kuchen does not meet with Deutschland." Flinted-amethyst eyes turned back to the page. "And they wish to meet with the royal family. The king must remain here, Halbert is in exile, my mother cannot go, and my other relatives are away on other business. I am the only member of the royal family lineage that is able to be dispatched immediately. Therefore, my father and I are being sent. I will do none of the negotiation -"

Eduard jerked to his feet. "Lui! If you negotiate -"

"- so my father will handle it. The king, though he does not wish to form an alliance with Deutschland, will never forgive himself if Orpherus is killed. He favours Orphe, you see."

"- Orphe will kill himself!"

Ludwig's eyes turned to him. He knew his face was twisted in anger, but he couldn't care. Not only was Ludwig going to be the one rescuing Orpherus, but he was going to be doing the very thing that Orpherus would hate himself for causing.

"Which is why, Eduard," Ludwig said, as calmly as ever, "we will not negotiate."

"Lui, what do you mean?" Naoji asked, looking very confused.

"I will have to speak with Isaac about it, but..." A gleam in his eyes. "I do not wish for Kuchen to form alliance with Deutschland. So, we will have to get Orpherus another way."

"Lui..."

"He will come back safely. I will stake everything I have on it."

He was serious. It made Eduard weak. He didn't know whether to feel relieved or angry.

"I'm coming too."

"No, you are not," was the cool counter.

"Lui!"

"This is going to need to be a small operation. We are going straight into the lion's den. The fewer the better... in other words, the recovery will concern myself and Isaac."

"Lui!"

"Eduard, Isaac told you. You will be needed here. You need not risk yourself."

"Just let me go on the boat. I won't go on land if you don't want me to. But -"

"No."

That word was a biting, icy response that cut Eduard dead. There was a fire in Ludwig's eyes now.

"Stay here."

He could not argue. He didn't think he had ever seen Ludwig so angry. His mind wouldn't let him continue fighting. Ludwig this upset... it was a danger sign. He had no choice but to back down.

"Lui..." Camus said, sounding half-strangled, half-surprised.

"Or is it that you don't trust me?" was the lofty addition. When Eduard failed to reply, Ludwig shut his eyes and continued, "I want Orpherus back just as much as you do. He is important to me, just as he is to you. But, I cannot do for him what you three can do. That is why I will do what I can... retrieve him, so the rest of you can heal him."

They looked at each other, then back at him.

"Ludwig, you really do worry so much about him, don't you?" Naoji asked quietly.

Ludwig didn't respond, instead raising his cup to take a sip of the tea.

~.oOOo.~

He watched distantly out the window during the ride home the next day. Ludwig had to admit to himself that Eduard deserved some praise. Being willing to rush headlong into imminent danger for love of a friend might be reckless, but it was admirable. Eduard and Orpherus were very close, and had been since they were children. Orpherus's kindness to a rundown, heartbroken Eduard surely had strengthened the bond.

Orpherus was too kind, Ludwig thought sometimes. It was his greatest strength, along with his unquenchable passion for his life and his work, but sometimes...

He had felt a mix of those two strengths. It was something he didn't think he was ever going to forget. Orpherus's hands, so slender and delicate-looking, had been stronger than the jaws of a mighty lion as they had gripped his collar, slamming him up against the wall. And that fervor, hotter and stronger than any fire Ludwig had ever seen, had burned brightly in those blue eyes... so brilliantly that Ludwig hadn't been able to look away.

But, no matter how strong Orpherus's hold was, Ludwig had felt its trembling. In those fiery eyes, he had seen tears threatening to rise. Orpherus had been scared... for Ludwig's sake, first and foremost, but also because he knew. Orpherus knew that, were he in the same situation, he might have considered the same way out.

It had been his words, sharp and quick as a sword, that forced Ludwig to rethink. It had been those hands, holding onto him tightly, that had been his sole comfort in that moment.

So he couldn't let Orpherus pass on. He knew, just as well as anyone else, that Orpherus wouldn't hesitate to end his life if it would protect the country. No matter how much the young Fürst preached on about how life should be treasured, he would gladly throw it away for the greater good. That was just the sort of person he was. Ludwig wouldn't allow it. Orpherus had stepped in front of him to forbid him to do it. At all costs, he had to keep Orpherus from finishing himself.

Ludwig shut his deep eyes for a moment, reflecting. Though Orpherus and his ideals were a thorn in the side, and something he could never quite bring himself to identify with, he had grown so used to them being there - to Orpherus being there - that the sudden loss of him was overwhelming. Ludwig hadn't thought he was truly so fond of his younger rival.

And that unbelievable, unconditional kindness that Orpherus had had extended to him as well. Even in those angry moments and fits of passion, he had never stopped seeing in those blue eyes, which were so easy to read, that Orpherus didn't hate him. When they had looked each other in the face at his engagement party, and Orpherus had said quietly, "I didn't want you to be killed," Ludwig had felt Orpherus's care so strongly he couldn't help the smile that had stretched his mouth.

He supposed he could admit it to himself. He missed Orpherus. The thought of him perishing at the hands of the enemy was enraging. It had already happened once, and that loss had been unnerving. But this one... he would not let it happen again. At the risk of his own life, he would bring that gentle, yet fiery, spirit back.

Without Orpherus, Ludwig felt as if his life path was empty and meaningless.

~.oOOo.~

"--and that's the way it should turn out."

"Understood," Isaac replied.

Ludwig remained silent, rerunning everything through his head. He didn't see any huge flaws in the plan, but since it involved Orpherus, luck was not guaranteed to be on their side. He supposed he could only hope.

"Markgraf Reinhardt should be able to give you more details once we arrive there."

"He realizes that in aiding us he is in danger, I assume."

"Fürst Görz says that in the letter, Reinhardt has moved his family to an undisclosed location, and that they will live out a different life until it becomes safe to come out in the open again. He seems to be fully aware of the risks that he is taking."

"Very well."

He felt Isaac's steely eyes probing him, but Ludwig didn't meet his gaze. He continued to repeat everything, over and over again, looking for anything with a high risk of not turning out.

"Lui, you've been very quiet. Don't you have anything to add?"

"No. I will follow the plan."

It wasn't hard to sense the quizzical expression Isaac was landing on him, but he wasn't further questioned. His father excused himself from the room. As the door closed, Isaac let out a small laugh.

"I don't believe I've ever seen you fret so much, Ludwig."

As usual, Ludwig opted to remain silent. There weren't many people that could read him, so there was no point in trying to convince one of the few that could otherwise.

"Things will be fine. It's dangerous, but it seems like a stable plan." Another bit of a pause. "And I'm sure Orphe is fine. He's a very strong young lad."

"No."

"... Hm?"

It had been an itching feeling at the back of his mind that had only grown stronger. Somehow, in a way that was quite uncharacteristic of him, Ludwig didn't feel that Orpherus was doing well. Not in this situation. Whenever he disappeared, Orpherus had the tendency to get into a state that was not so well off. This would be no different, except that...

"Lui?"

"Please excuse me, Isaac." He stood, long hair flowing out behind him. "I will see you tomorrow."

"Sure. Good night, Lui."

He left the sitting room and went to his own. Closing the door, he turned to look out the window. For awhile, he watched the stars, shining brilliantly in the dark sky. The cold, crisp air of the late winter promised a morning frost.

It had been a month. Ludwig somehow felt that it was already too late.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Eight**

_I do not want to remember the horrible fate that has befallen me this day. I do not want to think of what I am being put through for Kuchen's surrender._

_I cannot continue in this way for their purposes. I cannot go on any longer._

_I will not._

~.oOOo.~

_To my dearly beloved parents,_

_I have so much to say but no place to write it. I only hope I can convey what I wish to tell you in this small bit of writing I can muster. I hope I have not caused either of you too much grief in all my reckless twenty years of life. I have never wanted to cause you pain, as I love you both with all my heart. No matter what disobedient things I have done, they have never been out of rebellion or hatred. There was nothing I wanted more than to be the son you always wanted me to be, and to comfort you both with my love for as long as life would permit. I have longed to be able to return home to you, but it seems that this is a wish that cannot come true. I hate myself for having to make you live through that same grief that beset us when dear Robertine died._

_But I beg you, do not seek vengeance for my death. If there is anything I have learned, it is this: No good will come of hatred and revenge, and I know that you will only feel more sadness if you do pursue my captors in my memory. So long as one continues to hate, violence will never end, and there will be others who meet their ends as I do. Do not hate anyone for my death: for the sake of my country, and for the preservation of the pride of our family, I am willing to die. Please continue on in the kind justice that you have taught me since I was a child. It has been my guiding light all my life, and I pray that it will be yours. That is my wish for you._

_All my love,_

_Orpherus_

~.oOOo.~

_Isaac,_

_I can never thank you enough for all you've done for me, and for your loving concern. You have been like an older brother to me, always watching over me as well as my friends. I will never forget your words and guidance, or how you never hesitated to save me, time after time._

_You have suffered a lot, yet you never gave up. In order to protect what was most important to you, you subjected yourself to a lifestyle that has always caused you pain. Though I feel sorrow for how much you have undergone, I am grateful that you chose to do it, for through accepting that calling, I was able to meet you. You will never know just how much you have truly done for me._

_I pray that your life will be fulfilling, and that you will always continue to be the loving, caring soul I sense you are. Please take good care of the others, and of those who you love most._

_Faithfully,_

_Orpherus_

~.oOOo.~_  
_

_Eduard,_

_I can do nothing but apologize to you. I have always made you worry about me, no matter what I do. It seems again I have inadvertently caused you grief and pain, and it upsets me to know that I am the cause. I have never wanted to hurt you - rather, I have always sought to protect you, my truest friend, from anything I could, and I know that you have always done your best to do the same for me._

_Because of this, what I ask may be difficult, though I promise it is simple: do not mourn for me, nor seek vengeance for my death. There is no one to blame for it but myself, for I am not strong enough to bear these hardships. Continue to be just the way you are, growing stronger and kinder. Protect and love your family - the one you have now and the one you will have in the future - and become the best man on the face of the earth, mighty in spirit and heart. For my dearest friend, I can imagine no better ending. If you lose yourself to grief, you will destroy whatever goodness lies ahead for you. My memory is not worth that. Please leave me behind and continue on with all the strength you can muster._

_Please take good care of my parents. I am inflicting a horrible wound upon them. I know they have always counted you as a son. I trust you to comfort them in the wake of my death, and to be that son to them._

_All my love,_

_Orpherus_

~.oOOo.~_  
_

_Camus,_

_Day after day, I have always been impressed by your strong courage, and wished that I had the same. You dared to venture out of a world that was comfortable for you, into the strange and horrible reality that lay outside. I never could sympathize with you until now, and my respect and love for you has only increased as I experience only a bit of what you surely were assailed with._

_Camus, you will never know how many times your kind and gentle nature has saved me, and how many times it has healed my aching soul. I pray that you will never change, no matter what may happen, and if you do, that it is only to become more brilliant, and as strong as the sun. I pray that you will not grieve for me, and that I can trust you to be a comfort to my family and to our friends who will cry for me. I pray that you will find in soothing others your life purpose, and that you will use your rare and beautiful gifts to help others just as you have helped me._

_Though I am sure I do not need to ask it, please continue to care for Ludwig. You know him better than anyone, and I know he treasures you, though he may not show it. You are the one he is most affectioned toward, and I know that your words reach him like no one else's. He needs you. Please don't allow him to stray._

_All my love,_

_Orpherus_

~.oOOo.~_  
_

_Naoji,_

_I am grieved I had not more time to come to know you, or that I had not reached out to you earlier. Your kindness and wisdom have always been firmly impressed on my mind and, before I knew it, you were one of the few in whom I felt I could truly confide. Though you undervalue yourself, you are one of the noblest beings on the face of the earth, and your worth is greater than anything you can imagine. I have seen it in your serene face, and felt it in the presence of your mighty spirit. I rejoiced every day in the fate that allowed me to meet someone as cultured and refined as you. You have always humbled me._

_Having been trapped in this foreign place, only now do I feel I can truly say that I can relate to your troubles and pains. You have always been strong, carrying on, though your soul has cried to return home to your family, whom I know you love dearly. Despite the heartbreak you have surely been feeling all this time, you have crafted for yourself a fine life in Kuchen, and you have made many dear friends. My respect for you only greatens thinking of you, and knowing that you had the strength to bear it. I pray for your continued success in life and for your family's safety, knowing that it is all you think of. I hope that I have established myself in your mind as a friend, and that you will keep some small memory of me in your heart._

_All my love,_

_Orpherus_

~.oOOo.~_  
_

_Ludwig,_

_I have never been as strong as you. It is something I have always longed to be able to claim. Though I have been your opponent for as long as I have known you, not a day has gone by that I have not been reminded of how much I respect and envy you. If there has ever been one person I sought to emulate, it is you. Your strength, your presence, your passion... they are all what I admire of you. There is a dangerous beauty, a charisma about you that I have always desired to have, and it has always drawn me in. You are so powerful, and I always have to resist with all my strength so that you do not completely take me in. I revere you more than anyone, though I know in my heart no matter how much I revere, I can never be._

_Through the years I have known you, I have come to realize just how gentle and kind you truly are, despite your icy exterior. On reflection, all your harsh words were simply out of concern, your attempts to distance yourself only to protect those you care for. I cannot count the times your sharp words have saved me. You have been the person to propel me to better myself, to strive for a higher purpose. Without you, I might have remained the truly naive person I was earlier in my life. _

_I wish to tell you now (and I hope you will forgive me the teardrops, understanding what I am about to face) that I have always been concerned for you, and worried for you, because though you are so strong, your wish to save others by taking everything on yourself will hurt you. You are already hurt, though your power of convincing is so strong that you have talked even yourself out of believing it. I wish I could have done more to heal the ache I have always sensed locked away deep within you. I beg you, with my dying breath, to allow yourself to lean on others. Allow yourself to show your kindness. You do not need to hide it behind sharp words in order to be strong. Please allow your gentle spirit to show itself, and guide that gentleness towards all around you. Then, you will become a man I would have willingly followed anywhere._

_All my love,_

_Orpherus_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Nine**

"Welcome, Herzog Liechtenstein."

"Thank you," was the cold, stiff reply. Ludwig kept his face just as cold. Neither of them wished to be there, but the young Duke-to-be felt a rising urgency to get this over with. For some reason, the thought of Orpherus turned his insides cold. He didn't have the senses that his cousin Camus did, but this premonition was strong enough to not be ignored. "My son, the eldest relative of Our King, is here. However, as he is not yet a member of government, I will be doing negotiations in his place."

"Understandable." The eyes of the Deutschen glanced at him, and Ludwig felt his gaze grow icier, if it was at all possible. He didn't like that look. "Then, perhaps we can send him to confirm that young Fürst Görz is indeed in our posession."

"Ludwig?"

"Understood," he said clippedly. "Isaak."

"Yes, young master," came Isaac's voice behind him, and he felt the soldier step close.

"Then, Herr Reinhardt will take you." The solider motioned to a well-dressed man standing off in the distance. "He has had charge of the young Fürst."

"Thank you," Ludwig replied coldly. "Come, Isaak."

They took their leave, walking towards the man mentioned earlier. Ludwig was examining him closely as they came. Orpherus's father had vouched for Markgraf Reinhardt, saying that they had been good friends in school. Reinhardt was a Rosenstoltz Strahl graduate, and if this was all true, there was no reason to doubt him. As they approached, the man turned to them.

"Herzog Ludwig von Mohn nahe Liechtenstein, I presume."

"Correct. You must be Herr Reinhardt."

"Yes. Come with me. I will take you to see the hostage."

Ludwig and Isaac wordlessly climbed into the car. As they left, and the view of his father disappeared around a corner, Ludwig said, "How did you know he was Fürst Görz's son, Markgraf Reinhardt?"

"I'm sure you've noticed yourself that Orpherus looks almost exactly like his father, and his very name isn't common enough for me to brush past it. I had met Orpherus a time or two when he was a younger child, but he doesn't remember me. Every time I have gone in to try to talk to him, he ignores me. He likely assumes I am one of the enemy. It hurts but... I suppose it is the smartest thing to do."

"How is he doing?" Isaac asked. Ludwig's attention pricked.

"Not well," Reinhardt admitted. "For the first few days, he refused to eat. After that, he did resign himself to it, but only ate enough to keep himself alive. He is starving. I haven't been to see him in a week, as I have been making preparations for this, but I am sure he is not faring much better."

"And you're sure this plan is going to work?"

"Very sure. No one at the fortress knows that I am a Kuchen citizen, as I only ever use my Deutschland citizenship in this country. They trust me, so security will be lax. The trickiest part about this will be you, Sir Isaac."

"I can take care of myself," he replied with a smile. "If I do anything to put this mission in jeopardy, you may dispose of me."

"Very well. You both know your parts. All we can do now is pray."

Silence fell - one tense, so much so that even Ludwig found it difficult to force down the anxiety that was rearing its ugly head. He had to keep cool, as he always did. Otherwise, things would go badly. So, when they pulled up in front of the fortress, he took a deep breath before he stepped out, holding himself with dignity as he always did.

"Herr Reinhardt," said one of the officers standing nearby. "These are the guests?"

"Yes. They have come to make sure that the hostage is in good shape. Otherwise they have no reason to negotiate."

"Very well. You may pass."

Isaac stumbled - Ludwig turned to look at him. He was shaking, looking somewhat pale.

"Isaak."

"I apologize, young master." The British soldier straightened up, looking very sickly. "Please, do not worry about me."

"... Very well."

And the three entered, walking along down the dank fortress halls. Their footsteps echoed heavily and hollowly in the stone corridors. It felt oppressing. Ludwig wondered just how this would be affecting Orpherus. He had a strong spirit, but it was easily influenced. In such a heavy atmosphere, Orpherus was likely to be crushed.

One month. It was far too long. Ludwig tried to prepare himself for what he was going to see. Ice was prickling its way down his spine. After a long, long time, Reinhardt stopped in front of a door.

"Here."

Ludwig stood in front of the door, glanced at Isaac, then pushed the door slowly open.


	11. Chapter 11

_V-Rocking to the V-Rock Festival! \o/(non)\o/ But you still get a chapter. :) Things beginning to pick up here._

**Chapter Ten**

Wild blue eyes flashed to them who stood in the door. Orpherus was kneeling awkwardly on the ground, the tip of his sharp quill-pen turned in towards his heart. Ludwig saw the blonde's chest heaving in breath at the sight of them, quickened by fear. His pale, bony hands twitched around the pen.

Suddenly there was a flash, and a simultaneous gunshot. Brilliant crimson blossomed from his hand, and the pen dropped to the floor. Orpherus let out a strangled, starved yelp of pain, clutching his injury. Huddling into himself, he trembled like a small child.

The combined flurry of noises propelled Ludwig forward. He strode into the room, crossing to Orpherus. As he approached, the blonde struggled, shifting slightly, as if he meant to run and had not the strength, fingers on his injured hand fumbling across the cold wooden floor in search of the pen. Ludwig stopped, then slowly knelt. Fierce blue eyes rose to him now, red-rimmed and heavily glazed, hunching over defensively.

"Get away," Orpherus hissed.

"Orpherus."

"Don't touch me!"

"Orpherus."

"Get...!"

He raised his hands, even the wounded one, as if to strike. Orpherus didn't recognize them. Was he so far gone he couldn't remember? Surely he would have dropped the pen himself if he had.

"Orpherus," Ludwig said quietly, one last time, trying to speak the blonde's name as he usually would at school.

The young man froze up with that soft call, eyes slowly fading from their twisted anger into widened disbelief.

"... Ludwig?"

The starved, desperate whisper was heartbreaking. Those hands that had just a moment ago been poised to hit him tentatively pressed into his chest now, curled tightly into the material of his coat, clinging as if he would never let go. The fingers on his injured hand barely hooked, quivering in pain and fear, but were strong as iron.

"Lui?"

"Yes."

"Lui..." Orpherus kept repeating his name, as if it was some sort of prayer. He was crying, tears spilling unrestrained from his eyes. However, those precious drops did nothing to lift the curtain from the sapphire depths that stared desperately up at him. Ludwig looked deep into the dulled jewels, trying to read into them as he usually could, but the veil of death was far too thick. He could glimpse only the tiniest ember of hope that burned in them. That miniscule light threatened to be completely extinguished with the slightest puff of disappointment. "Lui..."

And he collapsed, crumbling. Ludwig caught his weak form, carefully holding it so that it wouldn't shatter against the hard ground. Orpherus still clung to him, his legs helpless behind him and with no strength. But, holding Orpherus like this, Ludwig sensed something... sensed the immense pain the younger man was in. Looking over the beaten body, twisting to accommodate the pain, he knew, and he stifled emotion that threatened to rumble up from his throat.

"Isaac."

The British man was instantly beside him, shoving his quickly-drawn pistol back into his coat, and Ludwig heard the door click shut. Reinhardt also approached as Isaac began swiftly bandaging Orpherus's broken, bleeding hand.

"Will they have heard that?" Isaac asked.

"Not likely. This place is extremely soundproof. If they did, I'll come up with an excuse." As he looked down at Orpherus's unconscious form, the markgraf took in a sharp breath. "He wasn't this bad when I last saw him. Something must have happened."

'Something'. Ludwig felt his grip on Orpherus tighten as Isaac procured a bottle from within his overly-large coat. Unscrewing the lid, he began rubbing the darker-toned liquid onto Orpherus's arms and face.

"Though you say they didn't hear it, we need to move quickly. We can't afford to be caught."

Finishing that, he only waited a few moments before now pulling a light brown wig from a larger inside pocket. "Lui, I'll need to get the coat on next. Get him to let go."

As Isaac was arranging the wig on Orpherus's head, Ludwig gently attempted to pry Orpherus's clinging fingers from his coat. They were twisted deep in the material, so it was a bit difficult, but he managed it. As soon as Orpherus was separated from him, Isaac removed his coat and pulled it onto the younger man's weak body, fastening it all the way up. After a bit of a pause, he pulled the right sleeve down over Orpherus's hand to cover the bandage.

"There. You'll need to take care of yourselves for now."

Ludwig stood, hefting Orpherus up. As he was jostled, the younger man let out a low moan of pain, eyebrows contorting. Isaac pulled his glasses off and carefully set them on Orpherus's nose.

"You'd better make sure those don't get broken, Lui."

He didn't respond, but Isaac saluted both of them and slipped out the door. Ludwig was about to head to the door himself, but he noticed a small notebook lying near where Orpherus had been kneeling.

"Herr Reinhardt, will you get that notebook for me?"

The elder swiftly snatched the book and tucked it into his pocket. Then, together, with Ludwig dragging Orpherus-turned-Isaac, they too left the room. As they deviated from the route they had taken to get to Orpherus's cell, Ludwig's heart was beating hard against his chest. Getting out of here would be the hardest part. Surrounded by guards who undoubtedly knew Orpherus by sight would be a challenge. But he stilled himself. He had Orpherus, was holding him. They would be fine. They had to be.

"You two."

They stopped, and slowly rounded as two soldiers approached. Reinhardt saluted, and they responded in same.

"Herr Reinhardt. These two are?"

"Visitors, coming to check on some of the inmates." Reinhardt nodded towards them. "One was sick and gave out, so I will be leaving with them now."

The soldiers scrutinized Ludwig carefully - he kept his head high, narrowing his gaze a bit more than usual. Then their eyes moved to Orpherus, and one stepped forward to get a closer look. Ludwig bit down on his breath, but didn't move as they closely examined Orpherus.

"He looks pretty bad," the soldier said at length.

"Which is why we'd like to return as soon as possible."

"Understood, sir."

They saluted, but before they could leave, Reinhardt added, "That blonde Kuchen boy. You two tend to him?"

"Us and a couple of others, sir."

"No need to feed him tonight. I just did. You know how little he eats."

"Yes, sir."

Reinhardt saluted them, and they left. Ludwig allowed himself to breathe as they continued, quicker than before, towards the outside. But the back of his neck was prickling. He hadn't liked the air around those soldiers… he hadn't liked those expressions.

"That should buy a bit more time," Reinhardt muttered. Ludwig nodded once.

They emerged into the sunlight where the car was waiting just a few moments later, and wordlessly they hurried over to it. Reinhardt opened the back door and helped Ludwig lift Orpherus in and settle him. Ludwig went to the other side and climbed in. As Reinhardt started the car, the duke-to-be lifted Orpherus's head into his lap. He hadn't thought it would do anything, but he saw something settle across the beaten features.

Orpherus knew... he was well aware, though he probably didn't believe it himself. Ludwig couldn't blame him. So long and hearing nothing, but hoping and praying all the while, and then suddenly something did happen... it would be difficult to believe. The car started forward, jostling the two in the back. Orpherus's face twisted as he let out a sharp noise of pain, but it slipped away back into blankness.

They were out, and everything had gone fine. Just a little more, and they would be clear. Ludwig didn't think he had ever been so nervous.

"How does he look?" Reinhardt asked.

"We need to get him back to the ship quickly," Ludwig replied, his eyes tracing Orpherus's form. He couldn't tell on his own just what might be wrong, but he had his suspicions, and they were still roiling deep in his throat. "One of my family's doctors is waiting there."

A nod. Silence for a few minutes until they pulled into a large mansion. Reinhardt parked, then came around to the back.

"We'll give him a bit to rest, and then he should be fine," he said as Ludwig carefully deposited Orpherus into his arms. "At least well enough to get back onto the ship. You do remember I'm sending a relative of my wife's with you?"

"Yes."

Ludwig got out and followed Reinhardt into the mansion, where they carried Orpherus into a washing-room and carefully scrubbed the makeup off, removed the coat and wig, and dried him off. Reinhardt hurried out, leaving Ludwig with Orpherus. He didn't expect anything to happen, but the young Fürst suddenly stirred and moaned.

"Lui..."

"Shh. You must keep quiet. I have you. Go back to sleep."

Those glossy eyes opened, just a bit, to peer at him for a long few seconds. Then, they slid shut and locked Orpherus back into sleep, as if he had needed to look in order to confirm it wasn't a dream. Reinhardt entered with a small basin.

"We can't be too precise as we need to hurry, but this should do the job. Here."

Ludwig held Orpherus forward, and Reinhard splashed the thin liquid into the blonde hair. It darkened quickly to a deep chestnut, almost black, and they toweled it dry quickly before sitting him back. They redressed him in a new shirt and long coat, pulled dark gloves over his hands, and placed new glasses on his nose. before Ludwig stood, hefting Orpherus up again. They tottered back out into the main hallway, where Isaac now stood.

"Feeling better, Sir Isaac?"

"Much," he replied with a broad smile, accepting his own glasses and coat back. "Enough to get back to the ship, anyhow."

"Keep that much in mind, at least. Let's go."

Isaac now helped Ludwig with Orpherus's weak body as they reloaded into the car. Again Ludwig settled with Orpherus resting in his lap, one hand clenched on the window rest. Just a bit more... just a little bit more.

They were at the docks quickly, and he saw his father standing, waiting, with the same officer that had greeted them. Before they moved, Reinhardt twisted in his seat and held out the notebook that had been in Orpherus's room.

"You want this, Herzog?"

Ludwig hesitated a moment, but took it and tucked it into the breast pocket of his coat. Then, Reinhardt and Isaac got out, coming around to the back. Reinhardt opened the door for Ludwig, while Isaac took Orpherus out and carried him along.

"Young Herzog Liechtenstein, I hope you found the young Fürst well-taken care of," the Deutschen officer said as they drew near.

"Yes," he said loftily. "Things have been talked over?"

"We are sending a full letter of terms back to Kuchen with you. Your king will need to sign them."

He saw his father's eyes flicker towards Orpherus. "And this is...?"

"A relative of my wife's," Reinhardt supplied. "His uncle in your country wished to have him visit. You'll have to forgive his sickliness."

"Understood. This is fine with you, officer?"

"Of course. We only seek an alliance with you. If we may have our citizens in your country, perhaps more of yours wouldn't mind coming here as well."

Ludwig felt impatient - he looked very hard at his father, whose gaze flashed.

"Very well. Then we shall be on our way to return."

"Have a pleasant journey. We will continue taking care of your boy."

They all bowed and turned, boarding the ship. As the anchor was raised, Ludwig paused on the deck to watch the dock begin to move away. He remained, watching for awhile, until he could no longer clearly see those people moving about it before he let himself relax.

Orpherus was safe. With that, he turned and headed down into the cabins. He had to confirm for himself what he suspected.


	12. Chapter 12

_Another update, so quickly! Because the full broadcast of the Moi Dix Mois performance last night made me very happy! :D Enjoy!_

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**Chapter Eleven**

Isaac had placed Orpherus on one of the few beds in the cabin, and the young man was resting there now. His quickly-dyed hair streamed across the pillow, falling in torrents across his tortured face. The doctor was moving around, preparing his tools. Ludwig stopped by the beside.

"Doktor Krause."

The kindly-looking elder man stopped to look up at him. "Ah, Master Ludwig."

"He hasn't woken up?"

"Not yet." The doctor turned back to his things. "He is in very bad shape, and has suffered quite a bit of trauma. He doesn't seem to have rested for at least a couple days. It's probably better for him to try to sleep it all off."

"I see. I'll leave him in your care, then."

He turned to leave again, but the faintest, "Lui..." reached his ears, and he paused. At the repeat of his nickname, he turned to see Orpherus's eyes slitted open. He looked as if he was struggling to keep conscious.

"Lui," Orpherus said, almost pleadingly.

He couldn't hesitate or refuse him. That would be the same as throwing him back to the Deutschen. He turned again and sat down.

"Sleep, Orpherus."

"I... where..."

"You are going to harm yourself if you don't rest. How would Eduard feel if that were to happen?"

"Eduard...?" His tone suggested he didn't know who Eduard was. His eyes were slipping shut again. "Why... are you here...?"

"We're going back to Kuchen. Sleep."

"Kuchen..." He said it as if it were a forbidden word. "Kuchen?"

"Right, Kuchen. That's where we live."

Suddenly Orpherus jerked as if to sit up straight, startling Ludwig. His eyes flashed wide open, striving against the veil that still covered them. "They said... that... for my life, Kuchen -"

"It's not happening, Orpherus," he replied sharply. "We aren't signing any negotiations. We're taking you back. Deutschland hasn't noticed yet that you're not there anymore."

Orpherus looked as if he were going to reply, but he suddenly twisted to the side, retching, body convulsing. Krause turned, alarmed, but it was dry heaving rather than full-out vomiting. Orpherus obviously hadn't eaten anything in at least a day. As soon as his body stilled, Ludwig heard the stifled sobs. He looked sharply at Doctor Krause, who must have sensed his urgency. He hurried to the bedside, gently pushing Orpherus over onto his back.

"Master Görz, I'm going to need you to relax."

"I'll leave him in your care, then."

"Lui," came the plead almost immediately as his words had begun to leave his mouth, before he could so much as shift from his spot. Orpherus was barely holding on, those sapphires fastening on him, as if the sight of the Duke-to-be was all that was keeping him alive. "Lui."

He let out a long sigh. "Very well. I'll stay here, Orpherus."

A pale, trembling smile traced across his frothed lips, and he finally closed those blue eyes. Whether or not he was asleep, Ludwig didn't know, but at least he had relaxed. Doctor Krause carefully removed Orpherus's coat and shirt before closely examining his body. Ludwig closed his eyes to the sight of the obvious starved and beaten body. Orpherus's ribs were clear against his skin, the sharp edges of his hips accentuated. Strikes from recent beatings rippled like crimsoned rivers across protruding bones.

"We'll need to slowly reintroduce him to food." Ludwig heard a rattle, then a soft, silken dripping. Orpherus let out a small noise of pain - Krause was probably cleaning away the blood smeared across his skin. "Liquids first. It's going to take him awhile to recover from that."

"How long?"

"Probably a few weeks on liquid and semi-liquid food before reintroducing him to solid food. This could take a couple months to recover from, Master Ludwig."

"But he can recover."

"Yes, it seems we got to him in time. Much longer and he wouldn't have been capable of being saved."

There was a soft shifting, and Ludwig opened his eyes long enough to see Krause removing the bandages from Orpherus's shot hand. The doctor examined the wound carefully, then reached for some of his tools.

"A nice clean shot. This will be easy to fix once we land, and it will heal quickly."

Orpherus whimpered as Krause carefully extracted the bullet, hand half-clenching, but as soon as the hull was out the blonde's voice faded away. Krause dressed the wound and rewrapped it in a clean bandage. Placing the hand carefully on the bedside, the doctor paused, and Ludwig watched the doctor's gaze tracing down Orpherus's legs. The young Fürst's pants were stained, streaked and slightly stiff with dried, blackened blood.

"This, though..." Carefully, he pressed a hand to Orpherus's hips, fingertips probing the muscles. Orpherus twisted, face screwing up in pain. A strangled scream escaped from those tightened lips. Doctor Krause leaned back, pulling away with an apologetic sigh. "This is something I cannot do anything about."

Tears were tracing down Orpherus's face again, his body shuddering with another round of dry heaves as he curled into himself. Ludwig lowered his gaze, trying to collect his thoughts as Orpherus whimpered.

"I'm sorry, Master."

"Thank you, Doktor."

"When he is feeling a bit better, let's try some broth."

"Very well."

The doctor bowed and packed his things again before exiting the small room, leaving Ludwig and Orpherus alone. Ludwig was silent, listening to Orpherus try to stifle his sobs. Eventually, those faded away, and when Ludwig looked back, Orpherus was huddled on the bed, half-curled up and shaking.

"Orpherus."

No response. Perhaps he was asleep. Ludwig suddenly became aware of something stiff against his chest. The notebook. He reached into his coat and drew it out. He opened it to the first page and glanced at it. Orpherus's neat writing was familiar to him. He looked at Orpherus again for a moment, then turned to reading.

Isaac entered awhile later. His pale grey eyes caught sight of Orpherus, who was still curled on the bed and hadn't moved, and in response he pulled up a chair beside Ludwig. The young dukedom heir saw Isaac's eyes now land on the notebook, which was closed in his lap.

"What's that?" the elder man asked in a whisper, so as not to wake the likely-sleeping Fürst.

Slowly, Ludwig opened the book and flipped the pages. Landing on one, where the top was headed with Isaac's name, he held it out wordlessly. Isaac, after an initial hesitation, took it and read it. Ludwig watched the expression on the dark face change several times - from a warm smile to a horrified look, then a glazing of sorrow.

"I see."

He handed it back, and Ludwig took it, closing it again on his knee. After a few moments of silence, Isaac said, "I assume there's one for you, too."

He didn't reply. Orpherus's writings were hanging heavily on his mind. Even for someone as strong as Orpherus, what had happened was far too much to be able to handle. Healing in this case was not a matter of physical, it was a matter of emotional. He didn't know if anyone would be able to help Orpherus with that.

"Lui."

He raised his amethyst eyes to look at Isaac. The British man said, "You've done more than you think you have."

"Orpherus does not heal quickly."

"Hm?"

That was all he could say... it was all he felt he was entitled to say. He could not do any more for Orpherus. It would be his family and closer friends like Eduard that would most likely be able help him out of this. But Ludwig felt hollow. He had saved Orpherus's life, but only so much of it.

"Lui, you've seen the real hell that war is now. You haven't experienced it, but Orpherus has." A pause. "Rough, isn't it, just to look at the result?"

Still no response. Ludwig honestly wasn't sure what to say. He knew war was horrifying, but Isaac was right - he, nor almost anyone living in Kuchen, had seen it. And now here he was, looking at Orpherus, and seeing someone that had experienced the terrors and atrocities war could bring. It hurt. For the first time in a long time, he felt very helpless.

"He seems like he's glad you're here, Lui. Stay with him, won't you?" Isaac clapped him on the shoulder. "We've gotten out of foreign waters safely. We'll be docking in Kuchen this time tomorrow. Please take care of my little Fürst for me."

And he left. Ludwig sat in silence, thinking to himself, as time went by. Doctor Krause came in later to shake Orpherus somewhat awake and spoon-feed him some warm broth. Ludwig watched as Orpherus retched the liquid back up the first few spoonfuls, but, crying even in his barely-conscious state, eventually swallowed most of what remained. He drank only a bit of water before any poured into his mouth dribbled back out in streams down his cheek. After settling Orpherus down again, Krause nodded to Ludwig and also exited.

His father came down not too long after, to try to convince him to come up and discuss some matters with him and Isaac, but Ludwig refused. Again left alone, Ludwig finally resigned himself to what he was going to try to do.

It wasn't much, but all he had left was to try to figure out a way to get Orpherus back on track for healing, so that Eduard and the others wouldn't have such a hard time of it. He opened the notebook again, and read over and over the things written in it.

He didn't have long to get rid of the feeling that Orpherus wouldn't give up the attempt to do himself harm.

~.oOOo.~

He slowly became fully aware of the dim amber light that was softly washing against his eyelids. They twitched, and he struggled to open them. They felt very heavy, and warm, as if trying to prevent him from waking. After a bit of a battle, they reluctantly slid back, revealing through a heavy fog the wooden ceiling bathed in that autumnesque light over him.

He didn't know where he was for a moment, but then the fragments that he could grasp came back, assailing him. He wanted to sit up, to get up, but his body wouldn't let him. It wouldn't react to what his mind wanted to. It simply seemed to sink further into the soft, warm bed he was resting in.

Slowly, painstakingly, he turned his head until his cheek brushed the pillow. His sight gave out on him for a few moments, then began coming back into focus. It didn't clear completely, and that soft mist didn't disappear, but he recognized now that dark form that sat beside him. Just the thought that he was there was so comforting it made Orpherus want to cry.

"Lui...?" he asked hoarsely.

"You're awake. I'll call Doktor Krause again."

"No -"

"He will want to get you to drink some more."

"Lui -"

"We are going to stop over in Birne at my family's house for awhile before we return you to your family in Erdbeere. You might find it in your best interest to try to gain some weight during that time. I doubt it will help ease your parents' minds to see their son skin and bones."

His family. For a moment, sweet bliss relaxed his mind... but then the memories of however long he had been in captivity shattered them. What would his parents think of him now? What would Eduard think? What would everyone else think? He panicked, but his body was too weak to move - all it could manage was to breathe hard, chest moving rapidly. He could feel Ludwig's icy, but quizzical, stare.

"I can't go..." he choked after a moment. "I can't..."

"Is this why you were trying to kill yourself?"

Ludwig held something up - Orpherus struggled to recognize it. When he did see it as clearly as possible, his heart stopped. His notebook.

"Did you... read that...?"

"Yes. I did."

Ludwig knew. What was he going to say? Orpherus wanted to go back to sleep... back to a long, warm sleep where he didn't have to speak to anyone. His life had been saved, but not before it had been broken beyond repair. He closed his eyes bitterly. It was better to die now.

"So..."

"... What? Do you expect me to stone you?"

Slowly, he opened his eyes again. He still couldn't see Ludwig clearly, but his tone of voice was as serious as ever. He managed, "I should have died."

"I disagree."

"You should have... let me..."

"If you really wanted to die you would have continued trying to kill yourself even after you realized I had found you."

"No one will accept me. Not my family... not my friends..."

"I know and my doctor knows. No one else does, and you are certainly under no obligation to tell everyone you meet that you were raped."

Ludwig said it so calmly and unhesitatingly, without the least hint of reservation, that it left Orpherus speechless. Ludwig continued, "You're free to tell people if you wish, but if it's something you'd rather no one know of, don't talk about it. They will never know otherwise. You were starved and beaten for more than a month, and that's more than enough reason for you to be in pain. That's all they'll think. Don't worry yourself over it."

His words were wonderfully comforting. Ludwig was Ludwig... always so constant. Tears were fresh in his eyes. "But..."

"You were not at fault, Orpherus. You are smart enough to understand that. Rather than being upset with yourself for something you had no say in, you should focus on healing. If you kill yourself, they have won, and you have given far greater hurt to those that care for you. Surely with your ideals, you do not wish for that." Something was placed next to his head. "If I hear of you giving those letters out, I will hunt you down. I cannot allow my favourite opponent to kill himself because of the acts of some witless self-serving bastards. If you disappear, the rest of my life will be boring."

The tears that traced their way down his face seemed to drain his energy away. His eyes fell shut, dropping him heavily back into sleep. But, he felt that Ludwig wouldn't leave his side. That was all he needed for now.


	13. Chapter 13

_Another update! I am crazy, no?_

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

Orpherus stayed asleep for most of the remaining trip. When he did wake, he alternated between being unknowing of where he was and panicking, scrambling for a way out, and being lethargic, hardly able to move. Ludwig wasn't exactly sure what was causing the bouts of memory loss, but he suspected it had something to do with the trauma. He had been hoping that those would wear off by the next day when they would arrive on land, but there were no promises. Orpherus had been imprisoned for a month... it wasn't likely to leave him in the length of two days.

His mouth felt dirty. He had thought over what he would say to Orpherus when the younger inevitably got around to speaking about what had happened, so he would be able to say things calmly and clearly. But, it had taken effort. The very thought of the word "rape" had threatened to choke him. It had had to be said – Orpherus needed to hear it and know that he, at least, didn't care – but it still left him with a bitter, dirty aftertaste. He didn't want to think about it, but there was nothing to be done. It had to be dealt with, and he was the only one who knew.

Orpherus's fears, unfortunately, had basis.

"Lui," came Orpherus's weak voice as they were drawing near the time to leave ship, "what are you going to do with me?"

Orpherus had been using his nickname almost constantly since the rescue. Though Orpherus had usually tended more towards familiar than he himself had, Ludwig wasn't sure if this continual streak irritated him or not. Flipping the page in his book, he said, "What do you think I'm going to do with you?"

Those glazed eyes were fixed tiredly on him, partially obscured by the now-sandy-blonde strands that straggled across his face. "You should... let me -"

"If you're going on about that again, you should know I will ignore you. I have told you already to forget it. It was not your fault, so I have no reason to end your life. You have no reason, either. Even if it were your fault, weren't you the one preaching to me that 'there is only hope so long as we are alive'?"

Orpherus remained gazing at him for a long time. Ludwig, at length, could not ignore that stare any longer and looked up at him.

"What is it, Orpherus?"

"Lui."

"Yes."

"I don't... want to go back."

He raised an eyebrow in response. Again, he tried to read through Orpherus's eyes, but that veil was still too opaque to see through. That thin boundary between life and death that the blonde was hovering on was shielding his thoughts from Ludwig's eyes. It was almost frightening. He could read anyone... it was a gift he'd always had. Being unable to read Orpherus, who was so open and clear, was something unnerving. If he couldn't see Orpherus's thoughts, it was infinitely harder to say what needed to be said.

"What are you saying, Orpherus?"

"I don't... I don't want to face my parents. I don't want to face my friends."

"I believe I've said already that you have no need to tell them anything about your imprisonment if you don't wish to."

"How can I go back... and act as if nothing happened?" Speaking was draining all his strength. It was easy to see.

"You don't have to do that. They will understand. Isaac has already warned them that you won't be the same. I don't see how they could hope for you to be as you were before. It would be asking too much, even of a perfect person like you."

He had hoped Orpherus might smile at that, but instead the blonde cringed. Ludwig sighed.

"You don't want to go back. So?"

"I don't... I don't know..."

"Well, you can go ahead and think about it. You'll be staying with my family for awhile while the doctors have a more thorough look at you. During that time, if you come up with something better than ending your life, you can tell me and I'll decide if it's a good idea."

He thought that Orpherus had fallen asleep already, but after a moment, Orpherus mumbled, "Lui."

"Yes."

Those eyes opened ever so slightly. "You can call me 'Orphe'. I don't mind."

"That's something for your friends to call you."

"You are my friend."

It was the strongest sentence he had uttered this entire time. Ludwig shouldn't have been surprised - Orpherus had said such a thing on a few choice occasions - but for some reason, it took him aback this time. He thought for a moment before he replied, "Very well, Orphe."

There was that trembling smile, and it seemed almost as if his eyes cleared just a tiny bit before they slipped shut. Ludwig remained watching Orpherus for a long time before he turned back to his book. It was difficult to read, somehow... somehow he felt as if he couldn't focus on the words printed on the page.

The ship docked just a few hours later. When Isaac came down, Ludwig carefully shook Orpherus awake. Those eyes flashed open, looking wildly about, and Ludwig was afraid that Orpherus was having a bout of memory loss, but after a moment he calmed down and looked over.

"We're in Kuchen, Orpherus."

A long, lost look. Ludwig stood and pulled Orpherus up, trying to get him on his feet with Isaac's help.

"Can you walk, Orphe?" Isaac asked. In response, the blonde stumbled, his knees buckling, and he fell with a yelp of pain. The elder man caught him, hefting him up. "You little girl. Come on, Orphe. You can walk. We'll go like we did a couple of years ago, okay? Just like this."

He took a step, and with a struggle, Orpherus followed suit. Again his legs gave out, but Isaac held onto him as he whimpered.

"Good, Orphe. It's probably been awhile since you really walked, huh?"

"Lui..."

"Lui's here. He's right behind you."

"Lui." It was almost a demand. Isaac glanced over Orpherus's blonde hair at Ludwig, who, with a sigh, stepped forward and pulled Orpherus's other arm around his neck. Slowly, like that, the three made their way up to the deck and down the ramp to the dock. There, Orpherus raised his head a bit to look around, but then dropped it again.

Isaac looked at Ludwig again, as if to ask what was going on. Ludwig turned his gaze to the coach that was waiting nearby.

"Are we going to make him walk there?" Isaac asked.

"He's going to have to walk on his own sooner or later. Better make him get ready for it now."

They helped the weak blonde make his way to the coach, where Isaac hefted him in. Ludwig went around to the other side and climbed in, seating himself beside Orpherus. The blonde was slumped over in his seat, breathing hard. It wasn't a truly far distance that they had gone, but for the half-dead Fürst-to-be, it seemed it might as well have been a marathon.

Eduard, Naoji, and Camus would be waiting at his home to see Orpherus. Ludwig pondered on this as the coach started moving. Would it be better to send them away? But then he shook his head. Orpherus might have been through a lot, but it did not mean he needed to be pampered. He was going to have to face his friends and family. Ludwig wouldn't make him see his parents today - in fact, he had forbidden them from seeing him until he delivered Orpherus home - but starting with friends might be the better idea.

Isaac was going ahead to the house. He would probably fill them in on how they should act. With another sigh, Ludwig settled back in his seat. Orpherus was already asleep again, head pressed against the window. It was going to be a long ride... long enough to allow him to try to figure out what to do from here.

~.oOOo.~

The coach pulled up in front of the mansion, and Eduard felt himself swallow hard. He had been waiting outside all day, despite knowing that they wouldn't arrive until evening. He felt too anxious, too nervous, to stay inside. His best friend was finally coming home after one month... and it was also for that reason Eduard had wanted to remain inside.

He wanted to see Orpherus. He wanted to make sure he was okay. But at the same time he didn't. He was afraid of what he would see, of what might have happened... of what Orpherus might say. If the blonde Fürst uttered even one word to say that he held Eduard at fault, he felt he would die to earn his forgiveness back.

But then he reprimanded himself, saying, _No, no matter what happened to Orphe, he would never say that. He's not that way. He will be as he always is... he won't have changed._

When Isaac had come, it was a blissful moment. That meant that the plan had been a success. But the words that the elder man had spoken almost as soon as he had dismounted his bike were frightening.

"Lui doesn't think Orpherus is ready to see you, Ed."

He had laughed nervously. "That Lui -"

"Ed, I'm being serious. Orphe is..." A long pause. "And I don't think you're ready to see Orphe."

"Isaac, don't tell me... don't tell me you're not going to let me see him." Despair had begun taking over him. If he was going to be sent away, Eduard would tie himself to the gate. He had to see Orpherus.

"I won't do anything to stop you or anyone else, but Ed... I just don't want you to be hurt by what Orphe might do or say."

"If it's Orphe... if I can get just a glimpse of him, I will be happy. Do as you feel is best." He had spoken it with a quaking voice. It was true, most of it. He wanted to be by Orpherus's side, just as he always had been. He decided he wasn't going to let Ludwig tell him otherwise.

So they had waited silently, tensely. But there it was... Orpherus was inside that coach. Camus was trembling. Eduard put a hand on his tiny shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly. Slowly, the smaller boy raised a hand and put it over Eduard's. Naoji watched silently, then raised his gaze again as they heard the far door open.

"Do you need help, Lui?" Isaac called.

There was no response, but after a few moments the door shut, and they heard Ludwig's crisp command to the coach driver. Slowly, the vehicle pulled away, and revealed to them the dukedom heir standing and holding a weak, overly-thin, sandy-blonde young man. The other's head was resting against Ludwig's shoulder, his black-encircled eyes firmly shut in sleep. Eduard felt his heart stop for a moment.

"Orphe..." he choked, taking a tentative step.

"Orphe!" Camus and Naoji echoed, moving with Eduard forward.

Those blue eyes opened slowly, and their glazed blue colour gazed at him for a few moments before Orpherus suddenly jerked back, face turning from peaceful sleep to horror. Ludwig staggered as Orpherus tried to move away, clinging to the elder. Eduard stopped, feeling his throat close off. His friend - his very best friend - didn't see him.

"Orpherus, calm yourself," Ludwig said cuttingly as Orpherus still scrambled as if to escape, though those thin fingers held on to Ludwig as if letting go meant death. "That's Eduard. He's not going to hurt you."

The blonde halted, grip tight in Ludwig's clothes, but he was still staring right through Eduard. The viscount heir wanted to break down and cry right there and then. He couldn't take this... he couldn't take being feared.

"Go away," Orpherus whispered.

"Orpherus, that's Eduard," Ludwig repeated. "He won't hurt you."

"No..."

"Orphe," Camus said grievingly. "Don't you remember us?"

"Orpherus, do you know who I am?" Ludwig asked. Eduard's attention shot to Ludwig.

"Lui," was the whisper. If possible, he saw that Orpherus's grip on Ludwig tightened.

"Right. Do you know who they are?"

"I don-... I can't," Orpherus choked. "Lui...!"

"Lui," Isaac said now, "he's going to hurt himself. We need to put him down."

"Don't you dare hurt him!" Eduard snarled. Orpherus cringed at his voice, huddling closer to Ludwig. "Isaac!"

"He needs to get over it," was Ludwig's response. "We can't baby him. Orpherus, they're not going to hurt you. Come on."

He took a few steps, pulling Orpherus with him. The younger man tried to resist, but was so weak from his wild panic a few moments earlier, his attempts to stop hardly fazed Ludwig, who continued walking on.

"Lui! Lui!" Orpherus was begging.

"They won't hurt you, Orpherus. Come on."

"Orphe!" Eduard pleaded. Orpherus jumped and shied away, pushing Ludwig forward. "Orphe!"

"Ed, quiet down," Isaac said. "You're just scaring him."

"He didn't... he didn't forget me, did he?" Eduard, despite his better judgement, took off after Ludwig and Orpherus. "Orphe, you're not angry at me, are you?"

The blonde's grip was shaking, his emaciated hands turning white twisted in Ludwig's coat. Ludwig turned, eyes flashing. "Step down, Eduard," was the cutting command, and he felt his body slam to a stop. It didn't prevent him from calling again, "Orphe!"

The blonde was falling over himself trying to get away. Ludwig was trying to accommodate him, trying to keep him on his feet. Eduard might have chased them further, but he felt three pairs of hands seize him and pull him back.

"Let me go!" He had to keep going. If he let Orpherus escape, Eduard felt as if there could be no forgiveness. "Let me go! Orphe!"

"You're scaring him, Ed!" Camus exclaimed.

"Ed, please calm down," was Naoji's plea.

"Orphe!"

"He's not going to hurt you, Orpherus. Come on."

The blonde didn't look back as he was helped through the door. Eduard threw himself forward one last time.

"ORPHE!"

The door closed, and Orpherus was gone. Eduard fell to his knees, clutching his shoulders as he tried to force back his sobs.

Orpherus had forgotten him. There was no worse punishment.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Well done, Eduard. You succeeded in frightening him almost beyond his wit." Ludwig's voice was icier than usual, sharper than his blade. "Weren't you warned that he wasn't going to be the same?"

Eduard didn't respond, nor did he look at Ludwig. The elder didn't think he had ever felt so frustrated. Had Isaac not told them that this might happen? Ludwig himself could recall at least once the soldier had mentioned that Orpherus wouldn't likely be in a good state.

"I'll fill you in on his condition, so that perhaps you can take him into consideration. He's starved and beaten. You've probably had more to eat in the last two days than he has this entire month. He's so traumatized that he has bouts of memory loss, or doesn't want to see anyone. I was hoping that coming back here, he wouldn't slip into that, but it seems he did. You didn't help, chasing after him and yelling at him like that. Normally, if he sleeps, he'll wake up and be fine for awhile. You might have killed off that chance."

Still no response.

"Lui," Camus said tentatively, "what's going to happen?"

"My doctors are going to figure out exactly what needs to be done to get him back to full physical health, and in the few days he is here, we will be attempting to get a decent start on that plan. It was my hope that some quiet and peace would be good for his mental condition, but -"

"Shut up," came Eduard's rough voice. "You wouldn't understand what this is like for me."

Ludwig observed him levelly for a few moments. "Even if I don't, that's no excuse for you to attack him like that."

"I wasn't attacking him!" Eduard shouted, whirling, his emerald eyes on fire.

"To him in his current condition, you are. Lower your voice and calm down. Otherwise, you will wake him and frighten him again. Do you wish for that?"

Eduard glowered, but fell silent. Ludwig took a moment to pin him with a cold gaze before continuing.

"When he wakes, if he is in a condition to do so, I will reintroduce you to him. From then, you will all have to take turns watching over him. We cannot allow him to be alone."

"Lui...?" Naoji asked.

"He is going to need constant attention. If you wish for him to remember you, that is how you will do it."

"Why so, Lui?"

He paused. How to phrase it? "It is better not to leave him alone. And you shouldn't press him to talk about what happened. He will refuse, and if you continue to pressure him, it will only do him harm. He will speak of it when he wishes to, and no sooner. Besides that, there are no other orders I have for you. My doctors will more fully inform us of what should be done after he has been examined."

The others looked like they had more questions, but the door opened and Isaac looked out.

"Lui, he's awake. He's asking for you."

Ludwig got to his feet and entered the room, crossing to the bed. Orpherus was struggling to keep awake. As Ludwig stopped beside the bed, those eyes raised to him.

"Lui?"

"Yes, Orphe."

"Are... I... where am I?"

"At my family's house in Birne. I told you we'd be stopping here for a bit before I took you back."

"Don't," was the begging whisper. "I don't want to..."

"Eduard and the others are outside. They wish to see you."

"Ed...uard...?"

"Eduard. Surely you remember him."

Orpherus closed his eyes and didn't reply. Ludwig gave him a few moments before he said, "I'm going to bring them in."

Panic visibly struck him. "No..."

It was almost too difficult to take. Ludwig felt he had held up the last couple of days just fine, but to see Orpherus too scared to see those people he considered his dearest friends was beyond painful. "I will be right here. They simply wish to see you. You don't have to speak with them."

Orpherus struggled, but then he choked, "Okay."

"You don't have to say anything to them. They have been worrying about you all this time. They just want to see you."

"Okay."

"If you want them to leave, just say so. I will send them away."

"Okay."

He turned and went to the door, not surprised to see the other three hovering right outside the door. Their faces said they had heard what was said. Eduard was giving him an angry, accusing look, but it didn't bother him in the least. He knew full well the reasons Orpherus was clinging to him and afraid of everyone else.

"So you know the terms." He stood back and let them file into the room. When he made his way back to the bed, Orpherus had rolled onto his side, turning away. He crossed to that side, casting a gaze at the others to forbid them from coming with him.

"Orphe," Eduard tried softly. Orpherus twitched, but didn't look his way. "Orphe, I'm glad you're back. I... I worried about you. You're not mad at me, are you?"

Standing on the side Orpherus was facing, Ludwig saw the tears slipping across the bridge of Orpherus's nose to trail into the pillow. But Eduard would see nothing. He chose to not say anything.

"Orphe... I'm glad to see you again," Camus said at length. "I can feel you're in a lot of pain... if there's anything we can do to help, please let us know."

"We are here for you, Orphe," Naoji added quietly. "For anything."

Orpherus was managing to hide his emotions well. He was looking up at Ludwig pleadingly, choking back his tears as best he could. At length, the elder said, "He's fallen asleep. You can come visit him again later."

Eduard looked like he might protest, but Ludwig raised his head, glaring, and resentfully the darker one resigned. Camus reached out to touch Orpherus's shoulder, pulling back when he shuddered, and then he left the room with Naoji and Isaac. Ludwig listened to them go down the hall before he said, "Why are you crying?"

"I can't... I can't look at them..."

"They want to help you."

"I can't..."

"I will let you off the hook tonight, and maybe even tomorrow, but you are going to have to face them. You can't run away all your life, Orpherus. I won't let you."

Orpherus did not respond, but closed his eyes heavily. It was clear to Ludwig that the response meant that Orpherus had already given up on Ludwig.

~.oOOo.~

"Nothing permanently damaging. He can be nourished back to strength with time. Once he's a bit stronger, he should be put on rehabilitation as far as physical action goes."

"And about...?"

"The pain will go away on its own eventually. Again, nothing permanently damaging as far as we can tell. His mental condition is what is the most worrisome thing. He's experiencing a sort of post-traumatic experience sickness. We will discuss further treatment for that, if you'd like."

"Yes. How long for physical recovery time?"

"He should be able to gain enough strength to walk after a month or so. Perhaps three months for full physical recovery."

"When do you expect him to be able to return to normal social functions?"

A hesitation. "Physically, in those same three months. Otherwise..."

"I see. Thank you, doktor."

He bowed and moved on his way. Ludwig closed his eyes, bowing his head in thought. Three months, minimally, for Orpherus to get back on his feet. It was a long time, but he suspected nothing could really be done about it.

But that was considering Orpherus trying his best to recover. If Orpherus put no effort into it, nothing would happen. Ludwig went into the room, where the others were sitting in awkward silence around Orpherus's bed, and said, "Orpherus."

No response. He added, "You're listening and I know you are."

Slowly, those blue eyes opened listlessly. Ludwig continued, "The doctors say you'll be fine. If you work hard to recover, you'll be back on your feet in no time. But you have to work to recover. Understand?"

Again, he was met with silence.

"I feel I should add, for probably the tenth time, that I will not allow you to lie here all your life. You will get back up and you will go back to your normal activities, whether I must force you to take interest in it or not."

"Lui!" Eduard snarled angrily.

"That is all I have to say to you, Orpherus. Good day."

He left, leaving the others with him, and decided he would try to sleep. Only if his conscience would let him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fourteen  
**"Eduard, I am not going to change my stand."

"Lui, you _must_ know more than you're telling us. You have to!"

Ludwig remained silent, and Eduard had to work hard to stifle his growl of frustration. Many days later, and Orpherus was barely choking down the liquids they were trying so hard to feed him, but he wouldn't rest unless Ludwig was within calling distance. It was so irritating Eduard didn't know what to do. Orpherus had always been his best friend – Orpherus had always relied on him. So, why now, was Ludwig the one that was called for? Why was Ludwig the one that Orpherus allowed himself to rest with? He couldn't figure it out, but he did suspect it was because Ludwig knew something.

"Lui!"

"What do you want me to tell you, Eduard?" Ludwig replied, almost snappily. "What more do you want to know? I have told you everything."

Naoji and Camus sat silently in the corner, simply watching. They were well aware of how Eduard felt, but he knew they didn't want to step between him and Ludwig. It was times like this that he felt their mutual bonds to both sides were annoying. At least if they were fully on Ludwig's side, they wouldn't be hovering in the middle, unsure who to support. Right now, he either wanted to fight and argue or to just pass on smoothly. Unfortunately, with Ludwig, there was no smooth passing.

"Why does he demand you?" Eduard asked at length.

Was that the slightest twitch of a smile at the corner of Ludwig's mouth? "I see. You are jealous."

"I –"

"It probably will not comfort you much for me to say so, but you shouldn't be." Ludwig's amethyst eyes turned back to his book. "It is not a position to desire to be in."

What did he mean? Eduard eyed him suspiciously for awhile before a servant appeared at the door.

"Master, he is calling for you."

Ludwig sighed, shut his book, and got to his feet. As he did, Eduard roughly grabbed his arm.

"Lui!"

"Do you want to see him?" the young duke asked. Eduard swallowed hard and nodded. "Then you had better not act out of line."

Eduard let him go and followed him across the hall to Orpherus's room. As they entered, he saw Orpherus's tired blue eyes light up at the sight of Ludwig. His stomach twisted nervously as the sapphires caught view of him. That light dulled, as if Orpherus couldn't see him.

"Feeling better, Orpherus?" Ludwig asked, seating himself by the bed. "You haven't been eating well."

"I don't have appetite," was the weak response, which startled Eduard. He hadn't heard Orpherus speak in the last few days, not since the initial arrival.

"Even so, you must eat. You won't get better."

Orpherus now seemed hesitant to continue speaking – Eduard saw his friend's gaze flit to him several times.

"I'm supposed to hand you back to your family in a few days but I can't do that if you're not in a state to be returned," Ludwig continued.

"We already talked about this." It was a plead, not a statement.

"Indeed we did, and I have already informed you of your options several times. You should choose one so we know how to proceed."

Orpherus turned his head. Eduard's heart was sinking. Orpherus was still ignoring him. Why… was he angry for some reason? Did he blame Eduard for what had happened? Heaven knew Eduard blamed himself for what had happened… if Orpherus would just tell him so, he would do anything to redeem himself.

"Lui… are you… in any danger?" the blonde asked after a few moments.

"Why would you think such a thing?"

"It won't be hard for them to… to figure out who got me."

"I am perfectly safe, as is my family. I've told you to simply worry about getting your strength back. You are no good to anyone if you lie in bed like a doll for the rest of your life."

"Lui!" Eduard said angrily now, green eyes flashing to the young duke, who seemed entirely unflapped.

"I will not allow it, Orpherus, although those that fawn over you may. So long as you call for me, I will not allow your circumstances to turn you useless."

A long silence. Eduard kept glaring at Ludwig, whose eyes were fixed on Orpherus. Then, slowly, the young Fürst whispered, "I'm tired, Lui."

"Then I'll let you sleep. When you wake up you'll need to eat. Sleep well, Orpherus."

"Lui?"

"Hm?"

"Will you be here?"

A sigh. "We have talked about this already. Yes. I will be here. All you have to do is call."

"Will you stay?"

"Orpherus –"

"Will you stay?" It was a weak plead, and those pale, bony, bandaged hands twitched on the covers as if they would reach out to Ludwig should he decline.

"… Yes. I will stay."

At that, a tired smile barely tugged at Orpherus's mouth. "I'm so sorry, Lui. It's all my fault."

"Sleep, Orpherus."

The younger one blinked once, but then his eyes slid closed and he fell into a restless sleep. Eduard watched, heart in his throat for a moment, before he looked back at Ludwig. There was something odd in Ludwig's expression… something he didn't understand. What was it? What was that look for? But then the duke simply opened his book and turned back to reading.

Eduard felt sick. Orpherus wasn't getting any better. How could Ludwig be so calm? Didn't he want Orpherus to recover?

"You can go, Eduard," was the cool voice.

"I'm staying right here," he snarled.

He didn't expect those eyes to flash angrily to him. He jumped slightly at the flame in Ludwig's stare.

"Leave," was the simple, but controlled command. "He's sleeping. You don't need to be here."

"Neither do you."

"He asked me to stay, so I shall stay. You, on the other hand, should be doing otherwise."

There were circles darkening under Ludwig's eyes, he suddenly noticed. The duke's handsome, elegant face looked strained, somewhat sunken, like he hadn't slept in weeks. Surely it hadn't been that long… surely he had been sleeping?

"… Lui?"

"Hm?"

He couldn't bring himself to ask about it. Somehow, he couldn't. "I'm staying."

Ludwig gave him a long look, then said, "Suit yourself," before he turned the page and continued reading.

~.oOOo.~

Eduard was beginning to nod off himself a few hours later. Ludwig was still calmly reading, halfway through his book, when a low, "I can't," reached them. Eduard jerked awake, and both looked to where Orpherus was still lying as if asleep. The only thing to hint that he was awake was the tiny strip of sapphire visible beneath his long eyelashes.

"I can't," he repeated.

"Can't?" Ludwig pressed, raising his head.

"Get better."

"You are fully capable of it, should you choose to concern yourself with it. Instead you worry yourself over what happened. I told you to not do that. It is making you into someone other than yourself."

"Lui –" Eduard started, but as usual, Ludwig ignored him and continued on.

"Your friends are worrying themselves sick over you and you lie here and complain. You are cared for and loved. That is all you should need to think of."

"They don't," Orpherus replied hoarsely, in a trembling tone.

"I refuse to argue with you further on the point because I know you know it's true, and you are choosing to ignore it. They are worrying that they have done something wrong to deserve such treatment, but in reality it's you that's the problem. Eduard is sitting right here, not wanting to leave you, and you pretend like he doesn't exist. Ah, there it is," Ludwig said icily as Orpherus flinched. "Yes, you know it. The very least you could do is admit that they are here and allow them to care for you."

"I can't." Orpherus's voice was breaking, beginning to rise. "I can't do it. They don't. They won't!"

Ludwig didn't say anything to that, but Eduard felt himself tensing as Orpherus became visibly distressed. What was going on? He didn't understand this. Not what Ludwig was saying… not what Orpherus was saying. Did Orpherus really believe that they didn't care for him? Did he honestly think they wouldn't still care for him because of what had happened?

"Orphe –" he tried to say soothingly, but was cut off with a screeching, "No!" He started, voice choking, as Orpherus's blue eyes widened, wilding.

"You say they will but they don't and they won't, not me, not now!" His starved hands were clenching and twisting on the covers, as if trying to vent his hysteria. "No one can accept me now! I'm broken, ruined –"

"Eduard, you should leave," Ludwig said, closing his eyes.

"But –" He didn't want to. He felt that if he left now, even on Ludwig's orders, it would prove he was abandoning Orpherus.

"You don't want to hear what he will say."

It was spoken quietly, with such a tired tone that Eduard, despite himself, couldn't say no. He gave Orpherus a hopeless look before he got to his feet and crossed to the door, passing through. He stayed outside as he pulled it closed, listening. Orpherus was crying wildly now, broken, half-screaming mutters that Eduard didn't understand interrupting his sobs.

He didn't understand. He had to try hard to swallow back his own tears. It hurt to see Orpherus like this. It hurt to even think of what he might be saying. It hurt to simply hear that Orpherus didn't feel that he cared.

He didn't know what to do. He had thought it would be so easy to get Orpherus back to normal. The blonde had always seemed so strong, even through grief, so he had expected this wouldn't be too much different. Just what had Orpherus undergone, for him to be shattered to this degree?

His throat couldn't hold it all – he felt a teardrop burn its way down his face.

He felt so lost, and he didn't know where to turn to get himself and Orpherus out.

~.oOOo.~

As soon as Orpherus had fallen back into sleep, Ludwig leaned back in his chair, shutting his eyes heavily. It was emotionally and mentally draining to deal with Orpherus, who only seemed to be getting worse. Every time he awoke, Ludwig was never sure if the blonde would feel up or down, or remember where he was, or if he would be more nauseated than usual. Several times now he had been called in the middle of the night to sit by Orpherus's bedside after the Fürst had woken from a nightmare or was suffering through night terrors. Ludwig hadn't thought this would be so difficult or so permanent. It looked like he was going to have to write to Orpherus's parents and ask more time of them. He didn't feel he could send Orpherus home when he was in this condition.

Despite everything, he hadn't considered letting the others in on exactly what Orpherus had suffered. He would keep his promise to not tell to the bitter end, whether it dragged him into insanity or not. No doubt it would make things easier – he was more than sure that Eduard, Camus, and Naoji would not abandon Orpherus should they find out – but he wouldn't break his promise. He owed Orpherus at least that peace of mind.

Still, Orpherus feared that they would find out somehow. Ludwig knew that there would be no way for anyone to deduce the rape if Orpherus didn't hint at it or tell them. That fear was what was making it so difficult for him to get better. Ludwig knew that Orpherus would rather die than feel like he couldn't be accepted.

So all that remained was to convince Orpherus that his secret was safe and that the others still cared. Had Orpherus been in his right mind, it was something Ludwig easily could have done. Like this, it seemed a near-impossible task.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Fifteen  
**"Ed?"

He felt so terrible for crying in front of Camus and Naoji, but when they had asked how Orpherus looked, he couldn't help it. He thought he'd had it controlled, but it had just come flowing out. They had both rushed forward to comfort him as he had broken down. Now, Camus was gently touching his hand.

"Ed… he'll get better," Naoji said soothingly. "We can't expect him to heal this quickly."

He couldn't reply. He gulped in breath shakily, trying to calm himself. Camus looked like he was about to start crying too.

"I j-just… feel so useless…"

"We have to give him time. Orphe will get better, Ed." Camus' voice was somehow so comforting that Eduard felt himself beginning to relax. "I know he will."

The door opened, and Ludwig walked in. They all turned to him as he shut the door. Eduard noticed, again, just how tired the long-haired duke looked. He began to regret how terrible he had been to Ludwig. Surely, it wasn't an easy task to deal with Orpherus.

"Lui, how is he?" Naoji asked.

"Sleeping, for now. He will probably waken soon."

"His condition?"

"Improving somewhat. He is keeping what we feed him down now."

A long silence. Then Eduard asked in a trembling voice, "Does he really feel we don't care?"

Ludwig observed him closely. "My doctors assure me it's normal for a victim of torture to feel that he cannot be accepted by those he was close to. Or, perhaps, he's afraid that you will be targeted again, so he is attempting to distance himself from you."

"Which is it?!"

"How am I to know?" Ludwig said coldly. "I am merely speculating."

Eduard forced himself to calm down. "I'm sorry, Lui… I just…"

"Yes, you are stressed, as is everyone. That is why I came to suggest the three of you return to school."

All three of them started, staring. Ludwig watched them lightly, levelly, as if he had intended to gauge their reaction the entire time. Eduard could barely feel his heart beating in his chest. Was Ludwig trying to force them to abandon Orpherus?

"I refuse," he said coldly.

"If all of us are missing then the student body and the public will realize something is up. It's suspicious enough that Orpherus has been absent for more than a month. More than that, Orpherus is still struggling to get back on his feet. Eduard, you know how he is treating you at the moment. He would feel better if you weren't here."

"I refuse!"

"Ed!"

"Lui," Naoji said, "do you really think we are impediment to Orpherus's health?"

"At current, yes."

"I will not abandon Orpherus," Eduard snapped.

"I am not asking you to. I am simply asking you to go somewhere to keep yourself busy to lower your stress and to leave in order to give Orpherus some breathing room. I will call for you when I feel he can handle seeing others."

Eduard glowered at him. Ludwig hadn't allowed him to help in the rescue. Who did he think he was, to feel he could delegate who could do what? Eduard wouldn't leave Orpherus. Orpherus had always stood by him, no matter what. He had never been abandoned by his friend. He had never been left behind. It was his fault that this had happened to Orpherus – he hadn't been able to do anything to help. He would refuse, absolutely refuse, to be the one to leave.

"I won't."

"Ed." Camus took his hand. "I know how you feel. I don't want to leave Orphe either."

"So then don't. We'll stay here."

"Ed, Lui is right," Naoji said quietly. "Being here is distressing for us and for Orphe. We should go back to school. We can come on weekends."

"I will stay here."

"If you do I will have you forcibly removed," Ludwig cut in. "You are my guests here. Orpherus being here does not grant you the right to reside here."

"Aren't you going to go back to school?" Eduard asked hotly.

"You know I can't do that."

"Then I will come back."

Ludwig opened his mouth to speak, but Eduard continued aggressively, "Fine, I'll go to school. But I'm going to come back every day after class. You can't stop me from doing that."

There was that angry glow in Ludwig's violet eyes… the one that Eduard normally would back down from. He expected more arguing, but the duke said, "Do as you will. I had thought you would consider Orpherus, since you claim to be his friend, but if you insist on being selfish, go ahead."

That was a shot to the heart. Ludwig turned to leave, but the last bit of rage pushed itself from Eduard. He would not lose to Ludwig… not with this.

"What makes you think us leaving would make Orpherus happy?!"

Ludwig stopped just inside the door.

"He says he feels we don't care, yet we're here, waiting for him. Waiting, because we don't want to rush him or make him feel like he has to get better right away. What more do we need to do to prove we want him to recover? What more do we need to do to put it in his mind we're here for him no matter what? What should we say to assure him that we aren't going to leave him? If us just being here isn't enough for him, what makes you think that sending us away is going to help?!"

Ludwig turned his head ever so slightly, enough to give Eduard the impression that he was looking, but not enough that he could see that amethyst fire blazing. He stood his ground. He would make Ludwig tell him what was wrong.

"If we leave then he really will believe that we've abandoned him. I won't do it! Not when he needs me! You don't get to decide for him!"

"I suppose then," Ludwig said curtly, "that I should let you know he directly said to me he didn't want any of you around. Now what will you do?"

It hurt. It pierced Eduard through the lungs, leaving him gasping for breath. Ludwig didn't say more than that, but simply left. The door shut heavily behind him, and the sound echoed through the room. Naoji and Camus were staring after him as well – Camus looked like he wanted to chase his cousin down and ask about what had just happened – but they immediately turned their attentions to Eduard instead.

"He didn't mean it, Ed."

"Orphe wouldn't ask for us to leave."

"He's just worried for Orphe. He's doing what he feels is best."

"Ed?"

They hadn't heard Orpherus screaming and crying. They hadn't seen how his eyes had faded at the sight of Eduard. They hadn't heard him saying that no one cared, that they couldn't care for him because of what had happened. They hadn't seen how he had gone hysteric when Ludwig had confronted him. Having witnessed that… Eduard couldn't doubt that Orpherus would have asked for them to be sent away.

He buried his face in his hands and cried.

~.oOOo.~

"Orphe, what are you doing?"

Those tired eyes that he had resigned himself to seeing every day turned towards him. Ludwig looked over the deep scratches notching the Fürst's arm. Orpherus was quiet for awhile, as if thinking about what his response should be. Then he said, "Punishing myself."

"Why?"

"I'm broken."

"How many times must I tell you that you are not at fault?"

"I let myself be ruined."

"It is not your fault."

"I could have done something to stop it." He raised a hand to his arm again. Ludwig briskly seized it and held it up, away from where it could do any harm. "Let me go."

"No."

Orpherus was trembling in his grip, like the tiniest of fragile leaves in the wind. It probably wasn't a good idea to be rough, but Ludwig saw nothing else to be done.

"Orphe, stop doing this to yourself."

"…Lui?"

"I brought Eduard, Naoji, and Camus because I was hoping that you, even though you're not feeling well, would let them in. They want to help you. They want to help you feel safe. But you can't handle them. You call only for me. Eduard is jealous and upset, and Naoji and Camus feel unsettled. They don't understand why you want nothing to do with them."

"Lui…" His voice was shaking. "Did you… did you –"

"No." Seeing Orpherus sigh with relief was a pleasure, for some reason. He knew Orpherus had always trusted him immensely, but to be the only one trusted with something of this gravity – though difficult – was a great privilege. "Orphe, no one will ever know unless you tell them. I won't ever tell. It wasn't your fault. You were a victim of immense abuse. There was nothing you could have done to stop them. So stop hurting yourself. I can hardly leave you alone for fear you'll try to kill yourself."

"Lui… I'm sorry." He was crying again. "I'm so sorry."

Sometimes Ludwig didn't know if he liked the crying Orpherus better than the self-abusive Orpherus. He was never sure what Orpherus was apologizing for, what exactly he was saying. It was difficult to deal with. He felt like he was reaching the end of his line.

"You're important, Orpherus."

"I'm so sorry!"

What could he do? He carefully let go of Orpherus's wrist. The blonde immediately buried his face in his hands and sobbed, shaking. Ludwig slowly sat down at his usual post and waited until Orpherus calmed slightly.

"I asked Naoji, Camus, and Eduard to go back to school." As he had suspected, Orpherus hardly showed any emotion. He could sense the slight twinge of sadness at the mention of the others leaving, but more than that, there was relief. That made the lie worth telling. "Eduard insists he will come back to see you. Do you want to see him?"

"No." It was shaky. "I can't… he won't…"

"I won't let him see you if you don't want to see him. But Orphe, I feel inclined to remind you that you are going to have to face them. For now, I understand you wanting to be out of their view. But you can't run away all your life. You will have to go back out. That much is expected of you."

"My family –"

"I expect it of you."

Orpherus looked at him now. His blue eyes were lost. Ludwig bit his tongue and waited for the next few words to come from the Fürst-to-be. As he had grown used to, it was off-topic.

"Lui, it hurts."

"Still?"

A whimper. "It hurts."

"It shouldn't."

"It hurts…"

"Perhaps you should sleep."

"I don't want it to hurt."

"I'll call for the doctor to give you some medicine."

"Hurt…"

"Yes."

A bit distant. "I deserve it."

"Orphe."

"All the pain…" He was glazing out again. "I should be hurt, again and again."

"Orphe."

"It's all I'm good for anymore."

Ludwig wouldn't take that. "Orphe." The blonde flinched at his thundering voice. A few moments of silence, then the younger spoke again in his trembling voice.

"Lui… if I asked for pain, would you give it to me?"

He was suddenly filled with an inexpressible rage – rage at Deutschland, for being so deranged as to kidnap an innocent; rage at the soldiers, for doing this to Orpherus; rage at himself, for not rescuing him earlier; rage at Orpherus, for asking such a thing. Almost before he could really think about it, he struck Orpherus across the face. There was a moment of tense silence, rent by Orpherus's surprised, ragged breath.

His hand hurt with the rebound. As Orpherus raised his head, the curtain of his bangs slid back to reveal the red, raw spot on his cheekbone. Those blue eyes stared at him, frightened, confused, veiled with tears.

"Lui," was the injured whisper.

He left. As he shut the door, he heard Orpherus crying again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Sixteen**

Orpherus raised his head as Ludwig dropped some books onto the covers. Those distant eyes skimmed the covers before they rose. They were puffy and red, as if he hadn't slept all this week. Or cried all this week. Or perhaps both. Ludwig knew how that felt. He hadn't slept either. He couldn't, not after that request.

"What are these?"

"Books, obviously."

"Lui." He sounded very, very tired… almost as if he was fading away. But his blue eyes fastened on Ludwig, drinking in the sight of him. Ludwig had refused to go to him when he had called the past week. He hadn't felt comfortable doing it. He didn't want to be near Orpherus for awhile. Eventually, he had given in and chosen to return. It looked like that had been the right choice. Orpherus looked as though he had been punished enough.

"Books from school. We've both missed a lot of class. I figured you could use something to do while you rest."

"I don't much want to."

"You don't have to."

A long pause. "Lui?"

"Hm."

"About the other night…"

He tensed for a moment.

"I…"

Orpherus tried to speak a few times, but then ultimately fell silent. Ludwig watched him for a little while before he decided to speak.

"Orpherus." Those blue eyes rose to him, and he saw the first flicker of something besides grief, torment, and hopelessness… something he didn't know. But, no matter what it was, it was relieving to see something different. "You already think yourself broken. You should do nothing to further that feeling, which I know you hate."

"I can't be fixed."

"Anything that is broken can be fixed. It may not be as good as new, but it can be fixed." Orpherus wasn't looking at him now. Ludwig sighed.

"Lui."

"Yes?"

"It's all I'm good for."

His cheek was still very red. Ludwig narrowed his gaze. Orpherus must have seen it, because he flinched. A tear traced its way down his face. And suddenly, Ludwig felt overwhelmingly tired. He didn't know what to do anymore. Nothing he said, nothing he did seemed to help. Orpherus's large bed looked very inviting. He didn't dare go to his own room because he knew Orpherus would call for him.

"Orpherus."

"Yes, Lui?"

He got up and walked around to the other side of the bed. He sat down on the edge. Orpherus jumped, looking visibly frightened. Ludwig found he didn't much care. He lay down on his back, shifting to make himself comfortable. The bed was very soft.

"I'm tired."

A bit of silence. "Okay."

He felt Orpherus settling down next to him – he opened his eyes just enough to look under his eyelashes. Orpherus was already drifting off to sleep, looking comfortable.

Funny. Ludwig closed his eyes and followed Orpherus into sleep.

~.oOOo.~

"_You."_

_He raised his head to look at the soldiers in the doorway. He could smell alcohol on their breath. He hated alcohol. He wrinkled his nose as they came further into the room._

"_Come with us."_

_They roughly grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet. Panic and fear overtook him, and he struggled._

"_Let go."_

"_Come!"_

_They were much stronger than he was – they dragged him, still resisting, down the hall. Weakened with fatigue and hunger, he raised his voice._

"_Release me! What do you think you're doing?!"_

_Down stairs, down, down, down. By the time they reached the bottom of the stairwell, he could hardly fight. _

"_Release me!"_

"_Shut up." They opened a door and pulled him inside. It was empty, save for a few chairs. They threw him to the floor. As he tried to scramble to his feet, one stepped on his wrist. Breathing hard, he raised his gaze to look at them. One knelt by him and roughly took his chin, turning his head._

"_Not a bad looker," was the cackle, heavy with liquor. He tried to pull his head away. "That will make it all the better."_

_His heart wasn't beating anymore. "Let go!"_

_Another twisted his arms behind his back, tying his wrists with strong rope. He heard other snickers – "Such a fine frame." "What a pretty face." "He must be a virgin." "How do you think he'll sound?"_

_And he knew, before they began unbuckling his belt, what they were going to do. He had to work hard to keep himself from retching at the very thought of what was about to happen. As they were tearing away his pants, one said:_

"_You know your country is sending delegates to try and release you?" A round of raucous laughter. "A country full of idiots, if they are going to bend to us to get you back."_

_He wanted to cry. Of course… he had known that was what it had been all along. Somehow he had talked himself into thinking that they weren't trying to get Kuchen to sell itself for him. He had been stupid. _

_A rough hand forced his head down, pulled his hips up. His mind glazed over, so he didn't notice until the tremendous pain pierced through him. He jumped, stifling a scream in his throat, but he was kept in place. He heard their laughs, jeers, grunts. The pain was forced deeper and deeper, curling in his stomach. But he wouldn't let them hear his pain. He wouldn't let them get their satisfaction of hearing it. He gritted his teeth, bile welling up on his tongue, determined to not let a sound escape._

_After eternities, it subsided for a moment before it began again, worse than before. His eyes were swimming with the sight of the horrendous shadows on the wall, head racing with their sounds, choking on the smells. _

_The pain was too much. He couldn't take it. He let himself drown._

~.oOOo.~

"Orphe."

He jerked awake, breathing hard. Sweat was streaming into his eyes. He couldn't see for a moment – his sight was blurred, weighted with tears – but then that voice said his name again, and his vision cleared. Ludwig was watching him, eyes flickering. Watching him.

"You're fine," the duke said.

"L-Lui…"

"You were screaming."

The pain had reopened in his hips. He had thought it had finally gone away. He broke down sobbing, "I can't…. I can't do this! Please, Lui… just… just let me –"

"Absolutely not."

It hurt. His body began curling defensively, but screams tore themselves from his throat again as the pain ripped through him. He forced himself to stretch out, trying to not pull any of it. He was well aware of Ludwig's piercing gaze following every motion.

"Please," he sobbed. "I can't do this… not this."

"You've done harder things, Orpherus. You know your pleads fall on deaf ears here."

"It hurts." Sweat was breaking out on his face again, prickling down his skin. "It hurts, Lui."

"I'll call the doctor."

"Lui, I can't."

"I won't hear that from you."

Ludwig couldn't understand. He never would. Bitter anger was rising in Orpherus – an emotion that scared him. Such a feeling, towards Ludwig…! Ludwig had saved him. Ludwig was the only one that wasn't judging him. Ludwig was here, whenever he called, whether he wanted to be or not. But that didn't mean he would understand. He would never know this.

"Shut up!" Orpherus choked. He saw the flash of surprise in Ludwig's deep eyes. He felt spittle running down the corner of his mouth. "You'll never understand!"

"All I have to do is watch you, and I understand perfectly."

"No!"

"So it hurts. You want to give up and die? Haven't you been shot? Didn't you drown? Are you saying this hurts more than those?"

Ludwig was angry. Really angry. It was frightening. Orpherus felt himself cowering, growing silent in the face of that storm.

"You lost your dear beloved sister. You loved her more than anything, surely? Normally, when one loses one they love, they'd rather be tortured to death than feel the sadness. Yet this hurts more than losing her?"

He didn't know what to say. He felt his lip trembling, his mind giving up to sadness. Tears were choking him.

"I see. You don't want to get better. Then just rot and die. If you don't want to help yourself, I have no reason to try."

Ludwig got up and began leaving. Terror and panic rose in Orpherus. He didn't want to be left alone… he didn't want to be thrown away. He scrambled, trying to get up, choking, "Lui!"

The young duke ignored him, passing on to the door. Orpherus threw himself forward, still desperately trying to get to his feet. "Ludwig!"

He was gone. Panic was blinding him now. He managed to get himself out of bed. His legs were weak and shaky beneath him. He barely made it a few steps from the bed before they gave out beneath him. He let out a sharp yelp of pain as he hit the ground – still starved, his bones cracked hard against the floor – but his fear of being alone beat out that pain. He clawed at the ground, trying his hardest to crawl.

"Ludwig! Lui!"

He was crying, repeating Ludwig's name over and over. He got nowhere, and weakness was overwhelming him. He blacked out, still sobbing for Ludwig.

~.oOOo.~

"Lord Orpherus?"

His eyes slowly blinked open, clearing. A soft, gentle face, framed with dark hair, was hovering over him.

"Lui?" he choked.

"I'm sorry."

That was a girl's voice. Orpherus had met her before. He felt nauseated at being with her, but he struggled to find her name. It was buried deep in his memory, but he found it.

"Lady Mina."

"Yes. Oh, Lord Orpherus… I apologize for my brother. Can I help you back to your bed?"

He was still on the floor. He started, trying to push himself up, but was ultimately too weak. She carefully took his arm and pulled him up, helping him back to the bed. Though she was tiny, she easily moved him.

"Lui is really worried about you, my Lord. I've never seen him so upset."

Orpherus didn't respond – he was too tired. He closed his eyes wearily.

"Lord Orpherus?"

"Hm?"

"I'm glad to see you're safe. I hope you feel better."

"Mina."

That voice. His eyes flashed open, flying to the door where Ludwig stood. Tall, dark… it was such a comforting sight.

"Ah, Lui. He was crying for you."

A long sigh. "Please leave Orpherus alone, Mina."

"I only came because you left him alone for so long."

"Mina." Ludwig's voice was warning now.

"I'll take my leave, Lord Orpherus. I apologize for bothering you."

"No." He managed a weak smile. "Thank you."

"Feel better, Lord Orpherus."

She got up and was out the door. Ludwig moved aside for her and watched her leave before he looked back at Orpherus.

"I apologize for her."

Orpherus didn't respond. He glared at Ludwig.

"Yes?"

"You left me."

"You gave me no reason to stay."

"You abandoned me!"

"You abandoned yourself."

"I cried for you."

No response to that. Orpherus felt so angry, so confused, so helpless. Ludwig was watching him as levelly as ever, and suddenly, Orpherus wanted nothing but to hit him. He tried to push himself up, but was too weak from his attempts to chase Ludwig earlier. Blindly, he struck out and felt himself connect with Ludwig's arm. He flailed at it, trying his hardest just to beat at it. After awhile, he collapsed with fatigue, breathing hard, tears threatening to run from his eyes again.

He hated life. He wanted it all… the confusion, the pain, the sadness, the fear… to just end.

"Orphe."

For some reason, hearing his name in Ludwig's voice was very comforting now. He reached out again and fumbled for Ludwig's coat.

"Don't leave me again," he said, gazing at where he thought Ludwig's face was. He couldn't see… his vision was fading out on him. "Don't leave me like everyone else has."

"No one has left you. You've left them."

"I don't want to be alone… don't leave me alone…"

"Are you going to get better?"

"Don't leave me…"

"If you get better, I will stay with you. Do we have a deal, Orpherus?"

"You'll stay?"

"If you'll get better."

"Okay." It seemed simple enough. Anything to get Ludwig to stay. "Stay."

He didn't hear Ludwig's response, but the sleep he fell into was warm.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Seventeen**

Orpherus had promised, but to someone not in their right mind, a promise was nothing.

Ludwig had high hopes. He stayed beside Orpherus through the next couple of weeks, and the blonde seemed to be doing fine. He would read the lessons out of their schoolbooks to Orpherus in an attempt to catch both of them up with their studies. Orpherus was moved off pure liquids to semi-liquids by the doctors, and he seemed to accept it. It seemed that almost every day Ludwig saw the Fürst gain weight. His ribs were beginning to disappear, the hollows of his cheekbones plumping up. Some of the scars on his hands and across his torso were fading away. But, it seemed that the more Orpherus seemed to improve as far as his body was concerned, the quieter and more introverted he became.

Ludwig didn't much understand it, but he figured he could get Orpherus back around. Physical health was important right now, and it looked like soon Orpherus would be able to start getting back on his feet. After an inspection from the doctors that said Orpherus would be ready for physical rehabilitation in the next few days, Ludwig went to sleep absolutely relieved.

So, feeling like things were finally beginning to go right, Ludwig opened the door into Orpherus' room the next day, not expecting to see the splatters of bright crimson across the pale covers.

It did jerk him forward, taking him flying to the bedside. Orpherus was huddled over on the bed, hands to his face. Ludwig gripped him by the shoulder and barked, "Orphe!"

"Don't look," was the sob.

"Orpherus, look at me right now!"

Blood was staining the Fürst's pale fingers. Orpherus shuddered, pulling away from him.

"Don't look at me…"

Infuriated, Ludwig seized a handful of golden hair with one hand and Orpherus's wrists with the other and yanked them apart. As they separated, he pulled Orpherus's head to turn towards him. Deep scratches, welling with blood, tore across his left cheekbones, down his jaw to his chin. Part of his right eye was torn as well, burning a trail down his cheek. Almost the entire left of his face was masked in red.

"Don't look," Orpherus begged.

"You damn…"

Ludwig forced himself to take a breath. Getting upset wouldn't help… he had learned that much in this long month.

"Orpherus," he said in forced calm, "how did you do this?"

Those blue eyes turned to the side, and Ludwig followed the gaze to see a fork lying discarded on the floor, tines tipped with scarlet. Orpherus must have kept it from the night before. He bit back another growl of anger and said, pressing his hand to the cuts across his left cheek to staunch the bleeding, "You'll have to see the doctors again now, you know that right? I thought you hated it."

Orpherus was trembling. Ludwig would ask the exact reason later. He called for the doctors, who were in quickly. Their cleaning of the wounds revealed that they weren't too deep, but was enough to scar and enough to bleed heavily. Orpherus was wrapped up and left with some medicine. As the doctors filed out and shut the door, Ludwig turned his gaze to Orpherus.

The blonde was sitting silently, hands folded on the covers. After a moment, Ludwig asked quietly, "Why, Orphe?"

His lip was trembling, and his voice broke as he choked out, "They said… they said I was pretty. They said they liked looking at me... that since I was pretty, it was so much more enjoyable."

For all the things Ludwig could do to comfort Orpherus, he felt like there were some things he could nothing about. What was he supposed to do?

"I'm going to go to hell, right, Lui?"

"Of course not."

"Say I am."

"You're not."

"Don't lie to me. I'm going."

"They were in the wrong. They're the ones going to hell."

Would that comfort him? No… he just started crying again. Ludwig felt like he was losing his grip. Things had been going so well… now they had taken several steps back.

"They said I'm pretty, Lui. But I'm not pretty anymore. They said I have a pretty face, so I tore it up. They said I have pretty eyes, so…"

"Stop it," he said sharply. Orpherus faltered for a moment, but then continued on.

"And they liked my body… lots. And lots. So… I'll make it so they won't like it anymore. I'll make it so they'll stop."

"Orpherus."

"That'll make it better. Right, Lui?"

"No, Orpherus. That won't make it any better."

"But… why not?"

"Because…" What would motivate Orpherus to stop? "If you do that, I'll be upset."

A blink.

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself anymore, Orpherus."

"But…"

"Please promise me, Orphe."

"I'm afraid."

"You don't have to be. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. Just promise me you're not going to hurt yourself."

"Promise you won't let them hurt me."

"I'll promise if you will. Just like our last one."

Orpherus looked him full in the face, as if searching for any reason he should say no. Then he said, "I promise."

But Ludwig didn't trust Orpherus… not entirely. So he wasn't surprised, just a week later, after Orpherus had begun rehabilitation, to walk in one morning to find the blonde dragging another fork across his arm. Orpherus jumped when Ludwig snatched it away, then looked glazedly up at him.

"You promised," Ludwig said sharply.

Orpherus just looked at him. They stared at each other for awhile before Ludwig said, "I'm taking you somewhere. Let's get you bandaged up and then we can go."

"I'm not going."

"You can't really refuse, seeing as I am several times stronger than you. You will come."

He summoned the doctors, who were looking just as worn as he felt, to bandage the new cuts. Then, he gave Orpherus some loose clothes to change into (with much difficulty) before he pulled the blonde out of bed and helped him down the hall. Orpherus didn't speak, didn't resist, but just remained silent as they made it down the grand staircase. Ludwig was glad to notice that, though Orpherus was still weak and relied heavily on him to move, he at least was able to keep his feet beneath him.

They went out a door and, as expected, one of the servants had Ludwig's large black Gelderland stallion bridled and ready. Ludwig saw Orpherus look at him as if he was crazy, but he said simply, "It's not far enough to use a coach."

He expected Orpherus to resist at that – he almost would have liked it if he had – but the blonde simply resigned himself to it. The servant pulled the horse to kneel so that Ludwig could help Orpherus on. He seated himself behind Orpherus and took the reins the servant handed to him.

"Be safe, my Lord."

Ludwig kicked the horse into an easy trot, and it took off. Orpherus grabbed wildly at the long black mane, shoulders tensed. Ludwig could hear the strained whimpers of pain. He debated with himself for a moment, then slowed the horse to a quick walk and wrapped one arm around the younger man's stomach. He could feel Orpherus's ribs heaving in quick, trembling breath, but he at least wasn't crying in pain now.

They left the mansion behind, tracing around the extensive gardens behind the mansion, and headed off into the distance. The sculpted gardens faded away, becoming more plotted and rowed. They were in the vineyards before too long, and Ludwig guided his horse towards small thicket of trees lining the west edge. As he reined his stallion in to a stop and slid off, he heard the slightest sigh of relief from Orpherus. With some effort, he pulled the injured Fürst off. Orpherus hit his feet hard and stumbled, but managed to stay standing. Ludwig helped him over to the shade before he doubled back to bring his horse as well. The stallion, tossing its mane, settled to grazing as Ludwig seated himself beside Orpherus.

A long, peaceful silence. Ludwig looked out across the vineyards, grateful to finally get out of the house. The soft breeze of early spring felt wonderful. It had been a long time since he had last felt it. After a few moments of relaxing himself, he looked over at Orpherus. The blonde was sitting, eyes distant, golden hair blown softly in the gentle wind. The bandages on his cheek had been removed, and angry, blood red carvings stood out painfully against his pale skin.

If Ludwig hadn't been with him for the last little while, he supposed that just in looking at Orpherus, he never would guess what had happened.

"Lui… why did you bring me here?" It was sad, broken, and resigned.

"Because we both needed a break."

Orpherus wasn't looking at him. "Lui… I know you're angry with me. I know you're tired of me. I'm not worth saving. You should just… stop. It's okay if you give up. I don't need to be saved. There's no point in it. As soon as everyone else hears what happened, I'll be killed anyway."

"They won't hear if you don't speak. You won't be killed. The people of this country are not that cruel."

"I should be killed."

Ludwig waited, working things out in his mind. Then, he reached out and took Orpherus's chin, turning that wounded face look at him. He looked squarely in those eyes, deep into them, to watch every little emotion that ran through them as he spoke his next words.

"Orpherus, I know this is difficult for you. I know you're frightened. But, I will tell you this plainly: you can allow this to take over you. You can allow it to break you down, every moment of your life. You can let it haunt you everywhere you go, with every breath you take. That's what you're doing right now. Or, you can use this to your advantage. I know it hurts. I know you don't want to think about it. But… you always speak of how you want to make an ideal country. You want to protect innocent lives. Now you know the terrors that the other countries will force on us should we give in to their demands. You can use this horrible, terrifying experience to give you authority. No one can deny your experiences. No one can deny your knowledge of what happened to you. You don't need to reveal it all. But think… think of what you can do with the knowledge you have now. Think of how much power you have in that experience. Think of how you can protect other people from going through what you went through, simply because it happened to you. Think of it, Orpherus."

Those beautiful, luminous blue eyes gazed at him. Orpherus's face said nothing to indicate he was moved by what Ludwig had said, but those eyes were all he needed to know how Orpherus felt.

"And, if you keep striving to reach that, as you always have, you will be stronger for it. You will be more brilliant, because you were able to overcome everything."

"Can I still be brilliant?" It was a hoarse whisper.

"If you try… if you work hard. There is nothing to keep you from being strong and bright. You still have that shine."

Orpherus still looked at him quietly for a few moments without speaking. Ludwig pulled back, remaining watching him carefully. His gaze traced over the long gashes striping Orpherus's face a few times. His heart ached every time he saw those.

"It might take awhile," he added. "I'm not saying it needs to happen overnight. But… look towards that. Work towards it."

The blonde continued to gaze at him, sapphires glimmering under long eyelashes. Then, the younger lay back on the soft grass and closed his eyes.

Ludwig couldn't help but allow himself a tiny smile before he followed suit. As he settled, he felt Orpherus edge closer to him. He found he didn't mind any more. The warming air and the fresh, earthy smell of the vineyard helped him to easily fall asleep, Orpherus nestled at his side.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Eighteen  
**"Wake up, Lord Orpherus."

His blue eyes slowly opened in response to the light call. As his vision cleared, he turned his head to see Ludwig's small, slender sister sitting by his bed.

"Lady Mina… what are you doing here?"

"Lui asked me to give you your breakfast."

"Lui did?"

That didn't seem right somehow, but he didn't think too much of it. Mina put the tray on his lap and settled back down, watching. He quietly ate his meal, trying to ignore her questioning stare. As he finished swallowing the rest of his juice, he turned his gaze to look at her. From the frame of her face, there was no doubt she was Ludwig's sister. The only difference was that instead of deep violet eyes, she had soft hazel coloured irises.

"Lord Orpherus?"

"Yes?"

She reached out and touched his face, fingertips brushing the cut under his right eye. He flinched and recoiled, dropping his head to let his bangs curtain his face.

"It makes me sad to see this, my lord." She sounded truly grieved. "I don't know you well, but you were so amazingly bright when I first met you. I'm sad to see you so dark."

He didn't speak. He didn't want to. Ludwig's engagement party felt like lifetimes ago. He hardly felt as if anything was real anymore. The Orpherus from back then didn't exist anymore. The pain from the ride out to the vineyards a few days ago was still tearing at his insides, underlining the fact that those events were in a different lifetime, so long ago. He wanted to go back to sleep.

"I'm sorry about whatever happened. Lui… Lui is so worried about you, and that worries me. I want to see you get better. Is there anything I can do?"

Silence. Then, the door opened, and Ludwig's voice said, "Mina."

"Lui. He ate everything."

"Father will be angry at you."

"Father won't –"

"Mina." Ludwig's voice said no-nonsense.

"I'm sorry I have to leave, Lord Orpherus."

"I'm sorry to have you leave," he heard himself saying. He almost felt Mina's smile, and he heard her light footsteps across the floor and out the door. Ludwig's steps came to his bedside now, and Orpherus said quietly, "She told me you sent her."

"I understand that quite well. She will be scolded if she is found out."

"She's engaged to the prince, right?"

"Yes."

"How nice."

"What do you mean in saying that?" There was an edge to Ludwig's voice.

"I'll never get married."

"Orpherus…"

"I know. I suppose it doesn't matter, does it?"

"Are you planning on telling people you were gang-raped?"

"No," Orpherus replied stiffly.

"Stop berating yourself then. You will find someone. You have plenty of time. You shouldn't be worrying about it now anyway."

He raised his head to look at Ludwig. He suddenly realized how tired and worn the young duke looked. Orpherus felt himself giving up. He felt like he was dragging Ludwig down with him.

"Orpherus. Stop worrying."

He felt his eyes widen. Ludwig's eyes were boring into him, in that old, familiar stare. It felt like years since he had felt it.

"There's no need."

Ludwig turned his gaze as he said that and set a book on the bedside table. Orpherus watched him move… watched. Since when had Ludwig's very air felt…

"I still wish for you to think about what I told you the other day. I think that would be best for you."

"Okay."

Those amethyst eyes glanced back at him for a moment. Then Ludwig took the empty tray from Orpherus and stood.

"I need to speak with my father. If you need me, send for me."

Orpherus didn't want him to go. He wanted Ludwig to stay… but that was selfish of him. He couldn't blame Ludwig for not wanting to be with him.

"Lui?"

"Yes?"

"… Never mind."

Ludwig watched him for another few minutes before he left. Orpherus watched him go, then turned his gaze to his hands. They were pale and weak against the covers. The scar from Isaac's bullet was almost completely faded, but was still very visible against his sunless skin.

He reflected on Ludwig's words before he distantly thought about how nice the time at the vineyard had been. He wanted to go again.

~.oOOo.~

"Is… Eduard here?"

Ludwig was greeted with that question as soon as he entered later, and it was very difficult to keep himself from staring. Orpherus was gazing out the window. Ludwig watched him for a few moments before he replied, "No. I sent him to Rosenstoltz."

"Naoji? Camus?"

"There as well."

"… I see."

It was the first time Orpherus had asked about Eduard. It was a good sign. In the beginning, Orpherus didn't seem to really remember who Eduard was. As of the last few weeks, Orpherus hadn't mentioned any of the other three at all. Ludwig puzzled over this.

"Lui, you're tired." It wasn't a question, it was a firm statement, so Ludwig didn't feel like he could refute it.

"Somewhat."

"You should rest."

"This is rest."

"Is Eduard angry at me?"

"No."

"He wants to give up on me."

"Only because you're being irrationally stupid."

"He won't… he doesn't know who I am."

"Of course he does."

"He knows the brave, strong, pure Orpherus." A few locks of his blonde hair slid from where they had been tucked behind his ear. They fell forward, curtaining Orpherus's cheek and the red slash down it. "He doesn't know an Orpherus that has tasted despair and violation. He doesn't know an Orpherus that has no hope."

"Orpherus is Orpherus, even if he is being completely hysteric."

Slowly, Orpherus turned to look at Ludwig. For a few moments, they simply locked gazes. Then, Ludwig continued.

"I have kept them away because you didn't want to see them, not because they didn't want to see you. They've been waiting, hoping to see you, hoping to comfort you, and you have turned them away. They know you're hurt. They know you're afraid. They know that, even when you do recover, you won't be the same. They don't expect you to be the same. They just want to be here to help you."

Orpherus looked glazedly at him for a long time without answering, eyes startling blue over the deep red trenches on his cheek, and Ludwig wondered if he had relapsed, but then the blonde said, "Can I see him?"

It was difficult to not sigh in relief. "Of course."

~.oOOo.~

Eduard was on the train to Birne as fast as he could manage it. As he rode, he kept the letter from Ludwig clenched firmly in his hand.

Orpherus wanted to see him. Eduard didn't think he had ever felt so light.

He couldn't deny he felt nervous as he saddled his horse and rode towards Ludwig's house. There was no telling if Orpherus would be calm about it. But… he had some hope. If Orpherus had asked, that meant something.

Eduard handed the reins of his Barb mare to the servant that came out the front door and followed the one that guided him in. He met Ludwig inside at the foot of the staircase.

"Lui… did he really call for me?"

"He did."

He felt so happy. He could taste it.

"But I'm going to warn you that it doesn't mean that much has changed. Just be careful about what you say and do. He's still… delicate."

"Okay."

Ludwig didn't press him further, but turned and led him up the stairs to the room that Eduard had come to recognize. They paused outside the door, and then Ludwig said, "Go on."

Eduard swallowed hard, then turned the knob and pushed the door open. He poked his head into the room and called softly, "Orphe?"

"Ed."

The weak, tired voice reached him. Orpherus's blue eyes were gazing at him, and a smile to match the tone of his voice was stretched across his mouth. Eduard felt himself melting.

"Orphe… you're okay."

"I suppose." His voice was somewhat distant. "You can come in, if you want."

Eduard let himself in, carefully shutting the door, and walked to the bedside. Tentatively, he took a seat.

"I've been really worried about you, Orphe. How are you feeling?"

"Not that great."

"Yeah? I can't blame you. It must have been rough."

Orpherus didn't respond. Eduard tried to not stare at the deep crimson stripes cut into his face. Where had those come from? But he couldn't worry about that… he had more to say.

"Orphe… I'm sorry."

"… What are you sorry for?"

His voice was trembling. Eduard took a moment to breathe.

"I'm sorry that… this all happened to you. It's my fault. If I had been there earlier… if I had just gone with you… I could have protected you. I've never wanted anything but to keep you safe, and I failed, and now… now this has happened. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."

"Ed…"

"So please… if you need anything… please, let me know. I will do anything to help you."

"Ed… it wasn't your fault."

His green eyes flashed up to look at Orpherus. The blonde's expression was blank, his voice still distant. But something in those sapphire eyes… something about them gave Eduard hope.

"Don't worry about it."

"Orphe…"

"I never blamed you."

His tone said that was all he had to say, but Eduard felt light and blissful. Orpherus didn't blame him… Orpherus wasn't angry at him. That was all he needed right now.

"Orphe… you seem tired."

"Kind of."

"I'll let you rest."

"Okay."

"Get better soon. I'll come back soon, okay?"

"Okay."

Eduard took Orpherus's hand and squeezed it gently, then stood and left. As he closed the door, he felt a broad smile stretch across his mouth.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Nineteen**

Orpherus didn't ask to see Eduard again, and Ludwig was fine with that. Though he still showed a considerable lack of interest in almost everything, Ludwig felt a bit of a sense that Orpherus was beginning to feel a bit more keen on healing. That was a relief. Even if there was the tiniest flame of will to get better, it meant he would improve faster.

Orpherus's parents were getting anxious, and Ludwig could understand that. He was getting anxious himself. But he was hoping that there would be no more steps backward, that even if Orpherus wasn't feeling much better, he would at least not hurt himself. Though he saw some tendencies Orpherus displayed that prickled the hair on the back of his neck, there were no more splatters of blood on the covers, no more pleadings for death or hurt.

It was such a relief. It had taken awhile… but Ludwig felt confident that Orpherus was finally on his way to truly getting better.

Orpherus would actually talk with him now. It was still slow and quiet, but they could conduct normal conversation without getting too much spinaround back to Orpherus's mental condition. The blonde would read the lessons from their schoolbooks on his own. He was resting and eating normally.

Of course, not everything was back on track. Orpherus would still occasionally have a crying fit, or scream, or have nightmares. But, overall, he seemed to be improving slowly, slowly.

His scars, though, wouldn't fade. Not entirely. The ones across his chest and back were now a tan rather than brilliant red, the shot on his hand a pale white. But the ones on his face, that he had given himself in an attempt to escape his nightmares, were still deep crimson. Ludwig was worried about that. Orpherus clearly hadn't been thinking much at all when he had done that – not that Ludwig could blame him. There was no understanding the fear and the desperation the Fürst had gone through. But now, Orpherus would always have that self-consciousness of people looking at those until they faded, if they ever did.

As he went in one morning, Orpherus looked at him and asked, "Can we go out again?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Out. To the vineyard."

He sounded hopeful, so it was a shame to have to say, "Not today."

"Oh… okay."

Ludwig took his familiar seat by the bedside. "I think it's getting to the time you go home to your family."

Orpherus's expression faded. "I don't want to go back, Lui."

"Are you still saying that? You have to go back to your family. They're worrying about you. They want to see you."

"I don't want to go."

"Why not?"

"I want to stay here."

That was a stunning answer that Ludwig honestly didn't think he'd hear. He eyed Orpherus.

"Why here, Orpherus?"

"I don't want to go back. Don't make me go back."

"I told you that I expect you to return to normal social functions, Orpherus. I won't let you hide here all your life."

"Hide? That's all I can do." He sounded like he was about to cry again. "Look at me. Do you really think I can go back, Lui?"

"Yes, I do."

"I'm not you! I can't do that! They'll stare. Eduard stared."

Ludwig, were this before everything had happened, would have cuttingly told Orpherus it was his own fault. But he knew better at this point. He couldn't be the way he felt he needed to be… or rather, the way he had been raised to be. Not with this Orpherus.

"Orphe, they'll stare for a little while. That much is true." At Orpherus's bitter look, Ludwig continued, "But they'll stop. You've been out of view for months and months. People will want to talk to you. They'll look at anything that's different. But, give them a short time. They'll stop staring. You'll stop being the sole focus of attention. And then, it won't matter anymore."

"I don't want to. I can't. I can't go back. Please… please just let me stay here."

"What are you so afraid of, Orphe?"

"No one will accept me."

"I accept you."

A silence, and those blue, blue eyes turned to him.

"That should be enough for you to not care about what anyone else thinks."

Slowly, Orpherus asked, "Do you really…. Do you really want me to go back, Lui?"

"Yes."

The blonde continued looking at him for awhile before he bowed his head, his long hair curtaining his face.

"Orphe… remember what I told you at the vineyard. Please… think about it some more. I wouldn't lie to you."

Another heavy quiet settled in. Ludwig watched Orpherus, waiting, trying to gauge him. After a long, long time, Orpherus raised his head and said quietly, "I'll go."

"You'll go back?"

"Yes."

"Back to school?"

"Yes."

"Back outside?"

A trembling voice. "Yes."

"You're brave, Orphe. That's good. That's the way to do it."

"Will you still be by me?"

"If you still wish to aim for the Strahl, then we will be walking similar paths. If you still wish to better the country, then we will be in the same place. Though…" He allowed himself a curt smile. "I sense your views won't have changed."

"No."

"So we will still be opponents. But I will be there. It would greatly please me, Orpherus, if you would fight back against me. If you would show me that fighting spirit you always used to."

A trembling, but pure smile. "I'll try."

Ludwig left the room to write to the Görz household, and felt that things were finally looking right.

~.oOOo.~

A few days later, Ludwig was sitting in the library on the main floor. He was just finishing the first part of a book when he heard a weak, "Lui?"

He raised his eyes to see Orpherus standing in the doorway. He was dressed in normal clothes that looked as if Konstantin, Ludwig's younger brother, had lent. It seemed odd… but then again, Ludwig hadn't seen him fully dressed in casual attire for quite some time. It wasn't hard to see the blonde leaning heavily against the door, his frame trembling. He knew Orpherus was still in quite a bit of pain, but now he was at least strong enough to walk on his own.

"Orpherus. Are you leaving now?"

A silent nod.

"Take care, then. I'll be seeing you at school shortly."

Still he hovered. Ludwig watched him for a moment before he asked, "Yes?"

Slowly, Orpherus walked carefully over to the couch and sat down beside Ludwig. He folded his hands on his knees, shaking. Ludwig watched uneasily, waiting for the younger to speak. Then, after a few tense moments, Orpherus whispered, "Thank you."

He didn't respond, but kept watching. Then, Orpherus raised his eyes.

"It's so hard to repay you."

This was going to go somewhere he didn't want it to go. A hand touched his face, turning it right to look into Orpherus's. They were very close. He could see the fine details in the carvings marring Orpherus's pure skin. Ludwig was working hard to keep himself impassive, but their noses were almost brushing.

"This is all I'm good for, Ludwig."

Orpherus said it as if he believed it, but his fingertips were trembling. Ludwig tried to decide what he should do, and didn't have much time – Orpherus was leaning in. He raised his head at the last moment, chin bumping into the other's forehead, causing Orpherus's hand to slip down his neck to his shoulder. Orpherus's gold hair felt silky against his lips. He shifted as Orpherus's hand clenched on the collar of his shirt.

"Stop, Orpherus." No response, but he heard the choking breaths, hinting at yet another round of sobbing. They were hot against his neck. His eyes slipped slightly shut at the feel of that warm air. "You're going to destroy yourself if you continue this."

"But… Lui…"

"I don't want to hear it. There is no excuse. You cry that you are broken, but you turn around and try to break yourself more."

"I have to repay you," came on a ragged breath. He almost jerked back at the feeling of that sob against his skin. It was so strong, for some reason.

"Not like this. I don't want it, and you don't want it."

"Because I'm damaged?"

"What are you trying to do, Orpherus?"

"I want to repay you. You've been so kind to me… you've done so much for me. And this… this is all I can do."

Ludwig lifted his head and moved back, looking at Orpherus levelly. As those blue eyes rose to meet his violet ones, Ludwig said quietly, "If you argue with me at school, just like we always did, that will be repayment enough."

Orpherus turned his head. "It will never be the same."

"Perhaps not. But you can make it feel the same. You can forget. Only if you try, though."

A pause, then a weak smile. Orpherus glanced back to Ludwig and said, "I really like you, Lui."

"I'm well aware." He didn't expect, though, Orpherus to press close and brush his cool, soft lips against Ludwig's ear. "The coach will be waiting for you, Orpherus."

Orpherus's hair was tickling his ear, but then the Fürst pulled back and weakly got to his feet. He made his way to the door before he paused.

"Promise me you'll be at school."

"I'll be there. Hurry out."

Orpherus looked back for another second, but was gone the next. Ludwig waited, listening to hear the front door open and shut. Once it did, he shut his eyes tiredly. It was all gone now, thank goodness… gone. With difficulty he opened his eyes and turned back to his book, reading peacefully. But his mind still wandered, wondering on Orpherus's condition, on how he was feeling.

A ghostly smile curled his lips. Funny, how he had thought he would never get used to the maintenance, but now it was all he could think about.

The sun was low on the horizon now, and Ludwig shut his book, raising his eyes to stare out the window across the grounds. Eventually, he fixed his stare on one point, near some of the trees and bushes lining the pathways into the garden.

"Just try," he said.

And the air rang with a roar, the glass of the large wall of windows shattered. The light dancing off the fragments was dazzlingly brilliant, flashing like a shower of stars. Pain, sharp and horrible and burning, pierced through his stomach.

But, even as he heard screaming, and the floor became speckled with deadly fragments of crystal… even as his throat was bubbling up with blood… he couldn't help but laugh. Laugh, letting crimson paint down his chin, his vision fading.

That was it. His blood would be what protected Orpherus and made his suffering worthwhile. Deutschland had just sealed its own fate.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty**

"Robertine… it's been a long time."

Orpherus lay the bouquet of white lilies on her headstone before he seated himself with a wince.

"I'm sorry to sit… that's rude of me. But… I hope you can understand."

A slight breeze stirred his hair. Orpherus closed his eyes painfully.

"I'm glad… you didn't have to see me like this in this world. Broken and ruined… just a few words from being extinguished from society… I can never tell anyone. Not even mother and father. Father would surely die of shame."

He had been glad to see his parents again. He couldn't deny that. He had wept with them as they had embraced. But he hated being in the house with them. It felt stifling… he felt their want to ask, to find out how he felt, what exactly had happened. He appreciated their concern, but he didn't want it. He would rather be ignored. That way, he wouldn't get his hopes up that he could be accepted.

It wasn't acceptable, and the continual trace their gazes made across his scarred cheek constantly reminded him of it.

He still wanted to be locked up and put away somewhere. He didn't want to go back out to society. He felt he would never be able to fully function. His hips still ached, even all this time later. The doctors had told him it would go away, but with this he knew he would always live with the pain… always live with the reminder of what had happened. There was no forgetting. And, since he couldn't forget, he felt he couldn't go back to normal.

"If you saw me, you'd surely scold me for what I did to myself. But…" He raised a hand to his face, fingertips gingerly tracing the slender slash down his right eye. "I just… I feel there's no other way. They still haunt me. They still… at night, sometimes…"

His voice failed, and he shut his eyes tightly, trying to will away the images, the memories, the pain, the smells. For a few moments, his entire body tightened, quivering, but it passed. Weakened, Orpherus relaxed, allowing his eyes to droop open.

"Robertine, dear sister… would you be angry at me for doing what I do?"

He sat there in silence for a long time, gazing distantly at her tombstone. For perhaps the first time in his life, he was grateful she wasn't alive. He wouldn't have wanted to hide this from her… but he felt like he had to hide it from everyone. He had to hide it from even his parents and his friends, because he was terrified of what might happen should they find out.

They wouldn't accept him. Even if they had been capable of it, Orpherus would have wanted them to do what they were supposed to do and shun him. It was all he deserved. He felt lonely, but there wasn't anything to be done about that. He'd rather be surrounded by them and be lonely, than tell them and have them truly abandon him.

He wanted to go back to Ludwig's house. There, no one could look at him. There, no one would judge him. No one would press him. There… the only person that accepted him was there.

Orpherus felt the air was very cold. Shivering, he struggled to his feet.

"I'm sorry I left you for so long. I'll come back soon."

~.oOOo.~

He returned to Rosenstoltz Academy just a few days later. There was no doubt that he hardly wanted to be there. Orpherus skirted as many people as he could, simply nodding and speaking as little as he could manage, keeping his head down to let his lengthening bangs hide his face. It was difficult – it seemed everyone wanted to ask him how he was, how his family was. And, if they caught glance of the deep red carvings on his cheek, they would always stare, and he could see them holding back the question of how he had happened by those. He felt at loss… he wanted to shut down. It had been months since he had last been in a crowd. This was uncomfortable, and all the abuse he was keeping a secret seemed to be weighing heavier on his shoulders.

To his relief, Eduard was key in warding off people. He would wave them away, saying that Orpherus needed space and that he still felt faint, and give the blonde some time to escape into an abandoned classroom to regain his breath. Every time, Eduard would find him and ask, clearly concerned, if he wanted to go to his room. But Orpherus always weakly shook his head and readied himself to go back out. He had to face it all at some point… and, though he still didn't feel that great, in the back of his mind he knew the sooner he started back out, the sooner he would be feeling better.

Though, honestly, he didn't know that he would ever really feel better.

He kept an eye out for Ludwig. That was what kept him going through the day. But, in every one of their classes, Ludwig's chair was empty. Orpherus didn't see him in the hallways. He searched the library to no avail. He never came to dinner, and on entering the duke-to-be's room, it was easy to see he hadn't yet returned.

"Don't worry," Naoji said reassuringly when he passed and found Orpherus standing in the doorway. "Lui will be here soon."

"All right," Orpherus said in a hoarse whisper.

He waited for Naoji to leave before he slipped in and closed the door. Then, tremblingly, he made his way over to the bed and collapsed onto it, closing his eyes heavily. His body was aching, his hips screaming with pain. To rest on Ludwig's large, soft bed was such a relief. Though Ludwig himself had been gone almost as long as Orpherus had, the blonde could still smell the slightest hint of Ludwig… clean, sharp, warm. It wasn't hard for him to fall asleep there.

But three days after, still Ludwig hadn't come, and Camus became ill. Orpherus became anxious and uptight. He made a trip to see Camus after classes, hoping to reassure himself in the smaller boy's presence. What he didn't expect was for Camus to say, almost as soon as they had entered the room, "Orphe, Lui's in trouble."

His legs went weak – he collapsed into a chair, feeling the blood drain from his face. "Camus… what…"

"I don't know… but… he's in trouble. I… I need to go to him."

"What's happened?!"

"I don't know." Camus looked truly terrified.

"Orphe, calm down," Ed said, almost soothingly. "I'm sure nothing bad has really happened to Lui."

"He promised me… he said he would come…"

"I'm sure he's coming, Orphe. Let's trust him, okay? Lui is very capable of taking care of himself."

Orpherus slowly turned to look at him. Eduard's grip on his shoulder was tight, and his voice sounded funny.

"Ed… what are you hiding?" he asked in a whisper.

"Nothing."

"Ed… do you know what happened to Lui?" Camus asked.

"No." His voice was taut.

"Ed…" Orpherus couldn't stop his voice from trembling. If something had happened to Ludwig and Eduard knew but wouldn't tell, Orpherus felt he would explode. Ludwig had taken such good care of him… he felt he deserved to know anything that happened to him. "Please… if you know something…"

Eduard looked down at him for a long time before he closed his eyes. A tear slipped down his face as he reached into his coat pocket.

"I'm so sorry." His voice was cracked. He pulled a folded, crumpled letter out from his pocket and kept it clenched in his hand. "Your father sent this to you yesterday, but you were asleep, so I took it. I shouldn't have read it, but –"

"Give that to me." Orpherus felt furious. He stood, grabbing at the paper. "Give it!"

"Don't, Orphe."

"That's mine. Give it to me, Ed."

Eduard shook his head, but held it out. As Orpherus took it and tore at it with trembling fingers, Eduard said, his malachite eyes luminous with more unspilled tears, "You'll be happier if you don't read it, Orphe."

But he had already opened it, panicked eyes scanning down through his father's writing. There wasn't much on the paper… the shaking handwriting imprinted itself firmly on his mind. With a horrified, desperate cry, Orpherus felt his legs give out beneath him. He was sobbing as he hit the ground, clenching the paper. He wanted to tear it to shreds. It couldn't be real… if he destroyed it, everything would change.

"Orphe!"

"Orphe, what is it?!"

_My dear son Orpherus,_

_Ludwig Herzog von Mohn Nahe Lichtenstein is dead._

~.oOOo.~

He wasn't too conscious of the next few days. It was too much of a blur. Eduard and Naoji went with him back to Ludwig's home. Mina had answered the door, her face strained and grieved. Orpherus hadn't believed the letter… that was why he had rushed back to Birne as fast as he could. But, on entering Ludwig's room, and drawing to the bedside and saw Ludwig's body, lying still, he collapsed, crying wildly, clutching at the covers.

He wouldn't leave. Eduard and Naoji literally had to drag him out. He cried all the way home. His parents embraced him and tried to soothe him, but he hardly felt them. They didn't understand. How could they?

Ludwig had promised. He had promised he would be at school. He had promised he would be there, at Orpherus's side. He had promised that they would become Strahl together, and work together, and make the most of what had happened. He wanted to scream it, scream it at that still body: "You promised! You promised me!" But he didn't have the strength. He could only cry until he was too tired to do anything, and just watched everything else pass him by in a coloured daze.

He remembered the funeral very clearly, though. He sat through it, hands clenched in his lap, nails digging into his skin. He couldn't listen to what was being said. They knew nothing… nothing about anything. Nothing about Ludwig.

It was his fault. Orpherus wanted to take a knife to his face again. This had happened to Ludwig because he had helped him. Tears hurt as they flowed. He had killed Ludwig.

He sat, tense and silent in his seat, as the others went to view Ludwig's body. The king was there as well, but Orpherus didn't feel he could face anyone, especially not the king… not when this was his fault. He waited, head down, bangs curtaining his face. Eduard, Naoji, and Camus left to go join the line for viewing, and Orpherus was alone. He didn't move. They returned and tried to get him up, but he wouldn't listen to them. They gave up on him eventually, deciding to leave him alone. And there he sat until he heard a soft, familiar voice, "Lord Orpherus?"

Slowly, he raised his head to see Mina standing nearby. Her soft brown eyes were a halfhearted splash of colour against her dark hair and long, plain black dress.

"Lady Mina."

She sat next to him, folding her hands tightly in her lap. They were silent for a few minutes, and then Orpherus whispered, "I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"No, my Lord. Lui…" A pause, and he heard her swallow hard. "He was laughing. He was smiling. All the time… just smiling. It… it was horrible to look at, and… it must have hurt. But… all he did was…"

Her voice trailed off, choked with a sob. Orpherus wanted to cry as well, but he managed to keep it under control. He felt he had cried too much for all the wrong reasons until now.

"My lady… can I ask a favour?"

"If I can grant it, yes."

"I…" He faltered. Was he allowed to ask such a thing? "I want a few minutes with him. Alone."

She looked at him for a few seconds, her expression blank, and he was afraid he had requested too much, but then she said, "Of course, Lord Orpherus." She turned her face back to the coffin, her face changing to grief, but then she said in a controlled, steady voice, "He won't be buried until tomorrow… they'll take him back to the mansion in a little bit. Then… then I'll take you to him."

"Lady Mina… if it's too much…"

"No." She looked back at him. He saw her eyes tracing the stripes across his face, and she smiled weakly. "Your name was his last word. It's fitting that… you're the one that gets to see him last."

His heart had never hurt so much. He put his head down, swallowing hard. He didn't want to cry anymore… he didn't want to be so weak. Mina stayed beside him, and he was grateful for her silent, strong presence. It steadied him.

She touched his shoulder lightly after what felt like hours, and she said, "I'll take you to him now, if you want," as he raised his head. He nodded, and they stood together. He gave her a few moments to get ahead, and then he followed her. Eduard came to him, as if to try and draw him away, but Orpherus said quietly, "Just a few minutes," and Eduard, seeming to sense his want to be alone, stayed back.

Mina led him through the familiar halls, to a sitting room on the first floor. As they entered, they saw the large, elegant black coffin set carefully in the middle of the empty space. Mina said quietly, "Just come out when you're done," and left him.

Orpherus stood, alone, for a long time after the door had shut before he took the shaky, painful steps to the coffin. It seemed miles away. When he finally reached it, he gripped the edges and gazed down into it. Ludwig lay, silent and peaceful, in the velvet cavity of the deathbed. Orpherus, despite himself, couldn't choke back the tears anymore, and they clouded his vision.

"God… Ludwig… you took such good care of me… and…. I…" He bowed his head and let the tears fall. "Because you did… you were killed…!"

He wanted those violet eyes to open, and that powerful voice to reprimand him. He wanted it to scold him. He would take a thousand beatings from those large, strong hands, if only Ludwig would get up. But…

"When…" His voice was shaking so hard, he could hardly understand what he himself was saying. "When I said I... when I asked you to…" He gave himself a few seconds to try to calm down enough to speak normally. "Lui… I'll do whatever you ask. I'll laugh, and smile, and pretend nothing happened. I'll forget it all. I'll bicker with you every day. I'll be just as I was… but only if you'll look at me, and speak to me."

He swallowed it all back, just for this last minute. A few tears still ran down his cheeks, stinging his scars, but he leaned forward into the coffin and whispered, "So, please… open your eyes and look at me." And with that, he pressed his lips gently to Ludwig's. They were firm and cool… powerful, just as Ludwig had always been. He still smelled as he always had, warm and strong, as if he was simply asleep. Orpherus even could have imagined he felt the slightest breath stir his hair. He lingered, not wanting to leave, but bitterly pulled back. He gazed down at that still face for a few more moments, hoping vainly that his wish would be granted, before he withdrew and left the room.

Mina was still waiting outside. When he emerged, she looked up at him. Orpherus said quietly, "Thank you." She shook her head, then replied, "Thank you, Lord Orpherus. Travel safely."

He left, and as his coach pulled away from the Lichtenstein mansion, he let himself cry tears that he felt he didn't deserve to cry.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-One**

"Orphe, please let me in."

No response. Eduard knocked louder.

"Orphe, I know you're in there. Please, let me in."

Again, no response. Eduard tried the door, and was surprised to find it open. He let himself in and found Orpherus lying listless on his bed. His blue eyes were staring dully at the ceiling. Eduard hesitated, but crossed to the bed and sat on the edge of it. The addition of his weight didn't stir Orpherus. He didn't know what to say at first, but then tried:

"Orphe… I know this must be hard on you. But… Lui wouldn't want you to waste away like this. Remember how often he said he was going to make you get up and go out again?"

"I killed him."

"Orphe –"

"But… but he said he wanted me to go out." Orpherus sounded uncertain of himself. Eduard sensed that his friend was spiraling into relapse. "I don't understand… he promised me… but…"

"Orphe. They didn't kill Lui because he helped you." As those blue eyes turned to him, Eduard said, "They wouldn't do it just for that."

"How do you know?" Orpherus asked bitterly.

"Orpherus."

They both turned to the door to see Fürst Görz coming in. His face was heavily lined, strained.

"Father?"

"The young Herzog was assassinated by supporters of Deutschland to send a message to the king – surrender, or death. Since Lord Ludwig was such a promising talent and especially close to most of the population, he was an ideal target." Orpherus's father sat down with a long sigh. "It's unfortunate, but the message was sent, and very strongly."

"So what is the king going to do?" Eduard asked, hardly feeling his heart beating.

"I don't know. He does not wish to surrender, but if he refuses, more lives will be taken. He is very grieved over the loss of Ludwig. He won't want to do anything to put anyone else in danger."

"He can't surrender." Orpherus sounded panicked. "He can't."

"Calm down, Orpherus."

The blonde stopped, chest heaving in shallow breath, eyes wild. Eduard reached out to comfort him, but Orpherus shied away, tensing at his touch. That hurt… but Eduard supposed he had to give Orpherus time. He had been through a lot in the last few months. Even with all the time he had taken at Ludwig's, he couldn't possibly be back in one piece.

"It looks like we will end up taking arms to defend ourselves. It's very likely that His Majesty and the royal family will have to go into hiding until it is safe."

"That serious?" Eduard breathed. "That's how far in this is?"

"I'm afraid so, Eduard. A major assembly will be called in the next few days for His Majesty to speak with some of the more major nobles. It will be decided then what will be done." A sigh. "I'll send you two back to school. It's probably the safest place for both of you now."

Orpherus didn't say anything, though Eduard had thought he might protest. The blonde merely fell back into his pillows, shutting his eyes tiredly. The Fürst reached out and took his son's hand.

"I'm sorry, Orpherus. This all must be very difficult on you."

A hesitation, and then the young man pulled away. He turned his head to face away. The Fürst and Eduard looked at each other before they both stood and left him to be alone.

~.oOOo.~

It was painful to be back on campus. It was so quiet and tearful Orpherus would almost rather be back in the prison. But there was nothing to be done. He reminded himself, almost every hour, that Ludwig had wanted him back at school. Even if Ludwig wasn't here… Orpherus owed him the fulfillment of his promise.

Time passed slowly. Orpherus found no joy in anything. There was nothing to look forward to anymore. He felt like he was floating through some surreal world. The only thing that continually reminded him that this all was real was the pain that ripped through him. It still haunted him, and it took all his morale to keep himself from screaming out every time it revisited him.

A few weeks back at school, and word reached the school that under the pressure from the mainland, the extended royal family had gone into hiding. Orpherus worried for Ludwig's family, specifically Mina, but he could only pray for their safety. He wished he could do more, especially since they had been so hospitable to him.

"Orphe, you're looking sick." He heard it often from Eduard, and he never responded. He always felt sick, always felt pain. He had a hard time getting out of bed, but he made himself do it.

"Orphe, you should eat more," was probably the second most common thing he heard. Naoji and Camus tried their best to tempt him, from Naoji specially cooking some of his homeland's food to Camus ordering sweets from his family, but Orpherus always turned it down, feeling only slightly guilty. He wasn't hungry. He felt he couldn't eat.

He felt pressured, like all his horrors were coming back. He longed for Ludwig's company.

About a month after rumours of the royal family going into hiding, a letter was sent to him from his home. He meant to brush it by, but upon opening it was surprised to find two folded pieces of paper. He picked up the one in his father's handwriting and read:

_Orpherus,_

_ This was sent to our home. I worry for what is written inside, but it is your private affair. Please take care._

Curious, he picked up the other one. It was addressed to him – "Lord Orpherus" - in a light, elegant writing. Encouraged by the titling, he opened it and read,

_Lord Orpherus,_

_ How are you faring? I hope for my dear brother's sake that you are doing well. I suppose I cannot expect you to be perfectly happy, but I pray that at the very least you feel fine. I think of you every day while in hiding. Your memory is a bright ray of light in this dark time._

_ I had wished to write to you later and let you know that I have been taking good care of Lui. I know how fond you are of him, and how fond he was of you. I'm sure you know that in life he was rough, but that he was very affectionate. But, unfortunately, I cannot tell you how he is resting._

_ It's very frightening, my lord, to be like this. I try to be strong, for mama and papa and Konstantin, but I do miss everything so terribly. If Lui was here, I surely would be fine. He was always so constant and calm, that it would have helped._

_ I'm sorry. It wasn't my purpose to write to you about memories of my brother. I'm sure it hurts you to be reminded of him._

_ But I was hoping, my lord, it wouldn't be too dangerous for you to come visit me sometime. I know there is substantial risk, but I would appreciate it if you could find a way to come. Your presence is so comforting and I am worried for my family. It would be nice to find some time of relief. _

_ If you cannot come, I understand, and hope that you will remain safe until we may meet again._

_ Faithfully yours,_

_ Mina Fräulein Herzogin Lichtenstein_

Orpherus felt only slightly wary as he looked through the directions written after her name. He had caught the slightest scent of the perfume she wore in the few times he had met her, and he could smell it rising in tiny wisps from the paper.

He felt like he wanted to see her. He owed her family… he owed her brother. The least he could do was comfort her.

He felt selfish, for his true want to see her, but he forced it down. She had been kind to him. That was all that mattered.

"Eduard, please help me."

The darker man stopped in the doorway at Orpherus's call. "What is it, Orphe?"

"I need you to come with me."

Eduard came in and closed the door before making his way to the desk. "Where to?"

"To visit Lady Mina."

"Lady Mina?"

"Ludwig's younger sister."

"… Orpherus."

"Please help me, Ed."

"Did it even occur to you that it might be a trap?"

"I don't see how something so personal could be a trap."

"I won't help you, Orphe."

"Ed, please. They were so kind to me."

"I won't. And I won't let you go, either. You're being irrational."

"Ed, please –"

"No, Orphe. I suggest you think through this a little bit more. Even if it was written from the lady, what if the enemy is waiting for someone they know would be close to the family to make a move? If that were the case, even if your intention was pure, you could bring disaster to them."

Orpherus looked away, feeling bitterness well up inside him. Eduard was right, and he knew it, but he wanted some comfort, and he knew Mina was in need of some as well. He felt he could only find peace with those Ludwig had loved.

"I'm sorry, Orphe." Ed's tone said he was sympathetic. "I understand. But, please… try to be a bit more careful. This is a dangerous time, and you of all people should realize it."

Eduard left, quietly shutting the door behind himself. Orpherus sat silently at his desk for a long time before he slowly folded the letter and tucked it into his inner breast pocket.

He wished, again, that he were not so helpless.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

He felt weak as the next few days passed. He sorely wanted to go see Mina and hear her soft voice, feel her strong spirit. He felt if he could do anything at all to lift her mood, he owed it to her. She, too, had taken such good care of him, that Ludwig put aside (he almost cried to think of doing so), Orpherus felt he could put himself at risk for her.

But Eduard stood firm, always reminding him of the peril whenever Orpherus so much as thought to ask again. So he remained silent, often rereading the letter at night before he slept, her delicate script, so similar to Ludwig's, being an ease on his mind.

Summer break would be upon them in the next few weeks, Orpherus realized about five days after Mina's letter arrived. He felt sick to think of spending so much time at home. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to feel everyone's worry, their pitying, their gazes constantly on his cheek. He didn't want to be reminded every day that with one slip of the tongue, he would be shunned forever.

So it was with dread that he listened to Eduard's constant cheerful planning for what they should do, how they should get Camus and Naoji to come along and do things with them. He never once seemed to miss Ludwig, or falter at thought that he would no longer be there. It sent a roiling of anger through Orpherus's stomach, one that almost upset him to the point of vomiting.

He understood it was probably that Eduard was avoiding the subject in order to not make him upset, but the lack of Ludwig's name made him more upset than if he had been falsely mentioned.

Orpherus was listening to such plans as he listlessly poked at his noonday meal when everyone in the dining hall heard the front doors slam open. He jumped, eyes flashing about, trembling. He could feel it, before the hall was even entered.

Several men, dressed in dark clothes and holding guns, entered the room, surveying it. The students all hunched down, several snarling, others whimpering, as one of the men stepped forward.

"We will not hurt you," he said. Orpherus gagged. He was Deutschen – the accent made it clear. "We know that one of you has been in contact with the Lichtenstein family. Who is it?"

The others at the doorway were looking from student to student. Eduard was gripping his arm tightly, but Orpherus could hardly feel it between his heart in his throat and the nausea spreading through him. There were probably more of them, all over campus, asking the exact same thing.

One of their gazes landed on him, and he could do nothing but look back, trying to fight back his repulsion. A moment of calculating silence before the one looking at him said with a smile, "Well, if it isn't our cute little blonde boy. He's the one."

Orpherus felt himself get to his feet, trembling. Eduard tried to yank him back down, hissing, "Orphe!" but Orpherus pulled away. He stared at them for a few moments before he bolted, dashing up the staircase on the far end of the hall that led to the dorms upstairs.

"Orphe!" came Eduard's yell, but a gunshot rang and silence fell behind him. He wanted to skid to a stop, but the adrenaline and fear rushing his body wouldn't let him. He had what they wanted. He had to keep it safe.

He darted into his room and closed the door, locking it, before he collapsed onto his bed. He was shaking so hard he could hardly move from that spot. With difficulty, he pulled the folded paper from his breast pocket and stared down at it, his trembling hands threatening to tear it in his tight grasp.

They wanted Mina's letter. It had the directions she had, no doubt, written under her father's nose so Orpherus could go to her. That was what they wanted from it. And Orpherus knew what they would do to get it.

He wouldn't let them. He made up his mind.

~.oOOo.~

The bullet whizzed past Eduard's ear, splintering the staircase in front of him. His body slammed to a halt, and he shakily looked back to see two of five guns aimed straight at him.

"Out," was the command.

He heard Orpherus's footsteps dimming – he wanted to chase after him, but at his unsure shift, he saw the triggers being squeezed.

"Out. Everyone, out."

He didn't want to. He was willing to die for Orpherus. He took another step, and a voice said, "If you go to him, we won't kill you. We'll kill him."

That made him crumble. Slowly, reluctantly, he moved down the stairs to join the others heading outside, urged by pointed guns. He fell into pace beside Camus, helping Naoji urge the shaking boy along.

"Orphe… Orphe's in… in trouble!" Camus whispered.

"I know," Eduard replied as they spilled out into the hot midday sunshine. The doors closed, and two of the guards remained outside, training guns on them. Eduard raised his gaze to look at where the dorms were, praying hard for Orpherus to be safe. "We just pray now, I guess."

_Orpherus… please… don't let anything happen to him!_

~.oOOo.~

A shot from the gun blasted the lock off his door. Orpherus slowly turned from where he was standing at his desk, trembling, to look at the three men pouring into the room. He recognized their faces… it made him sick to see their smiles. The same smiles that they had worn those nights.

"Well, well, it's our favourite pretty little Kuchen boy. Whatever did you do to your face?"

Orpherus didn't respond to that, but instead said, slipping into the Deutschland dialect he had listened to for so long, "You wanted something from me?"

"You would be the one keeping in contact with the Lichtenstein family. They were the ones that saved you, after all."

"Did you kill Ludwig?"

"Not us, but our sympathizers within Kuchen. It looked like he was going to survive the shooting, so we coerced the doctor into poisoning him. It was that simple."

Orpherus felt he might have died at their laughs, his vision swimming with horror and rage. They quieted after a few moments, and one said, "So, hand over the letter. We know there was one."

"It was a personal letter."

"There was either an address or directions in it."

"It was a personal letter."

A click, and the guns were pointed at him.

"This can be easy or it can be painful. Don't give us that shit."

Slowly, Orpherus raised a hand from the desk, directions ripped from the letter held, folded lightly, in his fingers. "So this is what you want, then?"

"Good boy. Give it to us."

He raised his hand for a moment, as if to toss it to them, but then turned his wrist and put the slip into his mouth, swallowing with a smile. The shot that splintered his knee and send him crumbling to the ground came too late – the directions were gone, never usable again. His eyes filled with tears knowing what would come next. But it didn't matter. They would never get what they came for.

"You little bitch!"

He heard the gun being cocked for another shot, but a stern voice said, "No!"

"Sir –"

"Not yet. Let's see if he remembers our training."

As they were on him, he didn't panic, didn't move... just let them attack him and tear him apart. He didn't care. It didn't matter anymore.

~.oOOo.~

They couldn't hear anything from within the dorms. Everyone had been gathered into one huge, huddling group outside. The windows of Ludwig's room hung over them, stark and lonely. Eduard and Naoji held to Camus, and Eduard suddenly realized just how much he missed Ludwig. He had never noticed just how the elder's calm had helped in situations like these. His heart was aching, and he kept praying for Orpherus. He didn't know what they were doing to his friend... he was afraid.

How long had passed? The sun had plodded into the west of the sky. At least an hour, probably. Camus was trembling still, pale and weak, hardly able to stand.

"What do you think they're doing with him?" Naoji asked in a low voice.

"I don't know. They want the letter Lui's sister sent to him. I knew it was a risk... they were sure to have been scouting out any clue of the family," Eduard replied, dread pooling in the back of his throat. "I can only hope Orphe isn't letting them have it."

"They're hurting Orphe," Camus whispered.

Eduard squeezed Camus comfortingly, though his heart was stopping. "They seemed to know him... they must be Deutschen?"

"It seems likely."

Suddenly the windows burst open – everyone looked up with a cry. The men were standing there, holding Orpherus up by his hair. He looked bloody and beaten, arms limp by his side, blue eyes screwed shut. His entire torso and down his left leg were sheathed in blood. As girls cried and boys began shouting in anger, Eduard lurched forward.

"Orphe!"

"Silence!" came the thundering command, and quiet came over the crowd. Eduard still struggled to get to the front. "Your friend is sheltering the Lichtenstein family. He has been duly punished. We will give all of you a chance to save him. If you have any information on their whereabouts, or the whereabouts of anyone else in the royal family, give it now and we will spare him."

Murmuring spread through the crowd. Eduard pushed on, eyes fixed on Orpherus. No one knew anything about any of the royal family. They had all just heard rumours that they had gone underground.

"No one?" They lifted Orpherus higher. Eduard, squinting, could see blood trickling from his scalp. But Orpherus didn't make a sound, simply let them abuse him.

"Release Orpherus!" one of the upperclassmen near where Eduard now was shouted. "We have no information for traitors and murderers like you!"

A gunshot, and the young man went down. Eduard stopped his path to Orpherus, instead turning towards the downed man. Cries of horror sprang up in the crowd, panic beginning to take over. As Eduard glanced up from the dead boy's side, he saw Orpherus's blue eyes had flashed open in horror.

"Anyone else?"

"Stop."

That was Orpherus's weak voice. Though it was quiet, it silenced the entire gathering.

"Nobody… nobody help them."

"You'd better shut the hell up, blondie." His captors gave him a rough shake. But, Orpherus was not to be stopped.

"Don't submit to them... they're murderers... liars... they will not help you. They will only hurt you."

"Shut up, blondie!"

"Orphe!" Eduard called.

"They want Kuchen. They will resort to doing anything they need to. I cannot count the horrifying things they've done –"

"Shut up!"

"They murdered Ludwig!" Orpherus yelled, though his voice was strangled in pain. "Ludwig, whom we all loved! They intend to kill his family as well! Will you allow that?!"

"Orphe, stop!" Eduard shouted. "Stop!"

"We are citizens of Kuchen! We will not allow them to walk over us and do as they please! This is our country!"

Cries of assent, strong and unwavering, rose from the crowd. The students began moving forward, against their captors. Eduard could hear, far in the distance, the trumpets of the royal army. He felt tears of relief come to his eyes. They were saved. Orpherus was saved. The blonde was still unmoving in his captors' hands, but his blue eyes were more fiery than Eduard could ever remember.

Three gunshots.

Splatters of red splashed the ground far below, and Eduard choked as Orpherus staggered, eyes widening as blood trickled from his mouth.

"We're done with you, little blonde bitch. Feel proud that you were of some service to Deutschland."

And they threw him from the window and disappeared.

Eduard felt himself running now, the crowd parting way, but his mind was far gone. It was watching Orpherus fall in slow motion, hardly seeming to register that step by step, he was getting closer. His heart was in his throat, and the screaming and crying erupting around him muffled, as if he was underwater. No… this wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening… but the droplets of crimson dancing on the air around Orpherus, and those pained, closed eyes, were hard to ignore.

He made it in time to catch Orpherus – he felt very heavy, though he was still thin and weak – and was taken to the ground with him. Orpherus moaned at the impact, crimson dripping down his chin, blue eyes fluttering slightly open.

"Orphe," Ed choked. "Orphe, are you okay?"

A weak laugh, blood spouting from him to dapple the blue on his coat that wasn't already dyed red. "Ah… the sky… it's beautiful…"

"Orphe!"

The army was here, pursuing the men who were sprinting away, firing over their shoulders. But Eduard didn't notice them. He seemed stuck in this world, where he was watching Orpherus fade away and was helpless to do anything to keep him.

"Orphe… don't go." He couldn't keep back the tears, and they tore down his cheeks. "Don't go."

A shaking hand began rising to reach at the sky. His eyes were bright, and he was still smiling broadly despite the fact his blood was pooling on the cobbles around them from the three tears in his back. His fingertips plucked longingly at the air, as if something was just beyond his reach.

"Like a heaven… only the pure can attain…"

"Orphe, no." He was sobbing like a child now, holding on to the weakening body. "Please don't… don't leave me here…"

"But… this life… is a world of sweets… and sours…"

"Orphe, shh."

"If I could dwell… where…" A cough, heavily coloured with red. "… and… and he where I…"

"Orphe… Orphe…"

His blue eyes were sliding shut, but he kept reaching out, struggling to raise his other hand to embrace something. He was still smiling, even as the whispers wound out of his mouth, hardly audible.

"He might not sing… so… well…"

"Don't, Orphe!" Eduard screamed, blinded with grief and rage. "Don't do this to me!"

"A mortal… melody…"

Tears freed themselves from his glassy blue, blue eyes, and Orphe's expression was purely serene and peaceful. Then, his eyes shut, his dark eyelashes curtaining his tired cheeks. His hands fell from their vain grasping at the iron clouds and hit the ground with a dull thud.

Eduard sat in shock, staring, breath punched out of him. Tremblingly, he raised a dark hand and pressed his fingertips into Orpherus's neck. He didn't need to – he knew – but he wanted to make sure. He sat there, cradling Orpherus's body in his lap, for many minutes as the blonde grew colder and colder. The crowd of students snuffling and weeping around him was suffocating. He lowered his head and cried.

When he cried himself out, he weakly brushed some of the stained bangs out of Orpherus's face, and noticed. Noticed, that a soft smile was curling his pale lips, eyes relaxed.

He looked happy… truly happy.


	24. Chapter 24

I want to extend thanks to those of you that read this fic and went on this torturous journey with Orpherus. Even now, months after I finished writing it, I still feel it's my best written work. Thank you for your support and comments. I feel like I can write something serious, after all. (:

I have to especially thank my best friend, Elo, for being the one that provoked me to write this fic. Without her, I wouldn't have done it. I also have to thank her to listening to it and giving me input when I wavered and helping me to decide what I should leave in and what I should take out. She also gave me the idea for the vineyard scene, which was one of my favourites. Thanks for hanging in there with me through everything that happened while this fic was being written, roomie.

Enjoy this last chapter, and I'll hope to see you all again next time I write.

**Epilogue**

_Though I normally don't write, I feel the need to record my thoughts now that things have settled relatively and speak of things that, in the turbulent times past, were unable to be made sure._

_It is now twelve years since Orpherus's death. I still shudder to recall such a thing, but it pains me far less than it did in the past. As a result of his murder, and of the revealing of the true nature of Ludwig's death, Brittania and Amerika came to the aid of Kuchen. The Deutschland invaders were fought out, but war had to be declared. And as thus, the country flew into the war in order to protect all of her citizens. _

_Since we are a small country, almost all of the men were enlisted in the war. Nobles, peasants… all fought. Most of the students at Rosenstoltz entered the military as well. We weren't asked too much – more just to protect our own lands – but casualties in the few rebellions and struggles that happened was devastating. When the war finally ended in Europa almost four years after Orpherus's death, many of the nobility heirs were gone. _

_The citizens of Kuchen had never found much fault with the class system, so it was reinstated once the royal family came out of hiding. But, with many sons gone, it was difficult to make matches between families to restore the pureblood nobility. _

_I'll put that aside for a moment and talk of something else._

_When Ludwig's family reemerged, the daughter, Mina, came looking for Orpherus. She was very concerned for him. It was difficult to have to tell her what had happened to him. In fact, I was surprised she hadn't already heard. She cried most terribly, and I comforted her as best I could. I learned from my father later that evening after she had left that her fiancé, Prince Lewenhart, had also been killed in the war. _

_I understood. She loved her fiancé, and she loved Orpherus. There was nothing I could do about that. But I tried my hardest to befriend her, to look after her for Orpherus, who I know was very affectionate towards her. It took some time, but really wasn't too difficult – she is a kind soul, after all._

_The royal family had suffered heavy blows, and since hardly any preexisting nobility was existing anymore, Mina's father was looking for those of noble blood, rather than those that were newly raised in status, for her to marry. He searched, and as I grew closer to her, I decided that, even if she never could love me as much as she loved Lewenhart or Orpherus, I wanted to be with her._

_It was nerve-racking, going to Herzog Lichtenstein to ask for her. I know how high-handed he can be, and considering my pedigree, there was a high chance I would be turned away. Surprisingly, he gave his assent and hurried the wedding along as quickly as he could. Mina and I were married a few months later, when I was twenty-five and she was eighteen. _

_I can't help but laugh at all the taunting of those who looked down on me, especially at school – I have married your precious Lord Lui's sister, a daughter of the Lichtenstein family!_

_But even then, life wasn't without its up and downs. It has been difficult to try to help to rebuild this broken country in the aftermath of the war and carry my duties not only as the heir to a markgraf, but as the husband of the sole daughter of a Herzog family. It has been hard to bring things to rest, and try to restore the peace and calm that existed in our fair country previous to the war. But now, I am thirty-three years old, and things have finally settled down. Though we will never forget what happened, and the blood that was spilt, we are proud of it, for it helped us preserve our independence._

_Camus is living quietly in his home territory. We see each other quite often. It is nice to be able to see him, my dear friend, and to comfort each other for the wounds inflicted so long ago. He is not married yet, but he has grown into a fine, strong, refined young man, still as sensitive and gentle as he ever was. I know Ludwig and Orpherus would be proud to see him now. Naoji returned to Japan soon after the war ended, as soon as it was safe to do so, to help his home country rebuild from the ground up. We try to keep in touch, writing to each other as often as we are able. He often invites me to visit Japan, and I often invite him to return here. Someday, I'm sure we will meet again. I want to meet his family, and I want him to see mine._

_Mina and I have two children at this time. Our eldest, now seven years old, has Mina's beautiful dark hair and my green eyes. He is calm and collected most of the time, but has a quickening temper against any that offend him, and is unnaturally eloquent for a boy of his few years. He is named after his late uncle, and we affectionately call him Lui, just as we did his namesake. Our youngest, four years old, has the lightest ashen-auburn hair, taking after mine, and the most startling grey-violet eyes. We call him Orpherus, but he pouts if we call him by his full name rather than Orphe. He is quite the upstart, always running around and disappearing under our noses. However, we've come to realize that if he is missing, he can normally be found toddling after his older brother, whom he absolutely adores._

_I miss both of them – my old friends, that is – terribly. I named my beautiful sons as I did at risk of always being hurt at recalling their namesakes. But, it is fine. I'm sure neither of them would mind, and the pain grows tender and dear as I watch my boys grow._

_Mina and I go often to both their graves. Though I found much fault with Ludwig in my time knowing him, seeing how horribly his death has affected his family has thoroughly made me regret whatever grudge I held against him. It has been hard to watch my father-in-law, who seems mostly shattered, and my mother-in-law, who looks as if she is always grieving, carry on through life without their eldest child. Ludwig was their pride and joy, and a good and loving son to them. Konstantin and Mina loved Ludwig with all their hearts; Konstantin especially sought to emulate his elder brother. He often asks me questions about my time with Ludwig at school, and I try my best to answer. He treasures these little jewels of information, and I am glad I am able to at least do that little bit to help him keep memory of his elder brother. It has been difficult for him to try to fill his brother's spot as the heir to the family, and I try to support him and guide him to the best of my ability._

_I also take care to visit Fürst and Fürstin Görz as often as I can. It has been very difficult for them to lose both their children, and in such a short span of time. I am glad I feel, at least, that my visits are uplifting to their spirits. They watch over my children with caring patience, as if my sons were their own grandchildren, and continue to write and speak to me as fondly as if I was their child. Though it is not often, I will reminisce with them about Orpherus during my visits. They asked once if I knew precisely what had happened to him during his captivity, to which I regretted to say I did not. Ludwig and Orpherus both took whatever horrible secrets to the grave with them. If Mina knows, she keeps silent._

_Mina did, though, want terribly to move Orpherus to be next to Ludwig, but I managed to dissuade her from it for his poor parents' sake. She wouldn't give her reason clearly, merely said that they would enjoy being closer. Although I snorted to think they would like to be so close, the events in the last few months of both their lives caused me to reluctantly agree._

_I laugh at the silliness of this next confession, but sometimes, in the thunder and lightning of rainstorms, I feel I can hear their endless, beloved bickering. And, when I hear it, I will go out on the balcony and listen, and let the rain mask the tears that run down my face._

_I hate to do so, but I always remember Orpherus's face when he finally slipped off into his last sleep… that expression that he had finally reached peace, that he was finally free from whatever had been haunting him. He looked so happy, like a sleeping angel, that I couldn't be angry at him for leaving me for too long._

_I suppose I can only hope and pray until I meet him on the other side that he is content there, with Robertine and Lui. How I long to see him again! It is not my time now, but it will be someday, and perhaps then I will be able to summon the courage to ask what had happened and hear the terrible answer._

_Or maybe instead of answering, he will simply smile at me, with those bright eyes and warm grin, and turn to run and hide behind Robertine, as he always did in our youth. Or perhaps he will cry for Lui, as he did recently, and my impressive brother-in-law will shield Orpherus from me with his cold and cutting words. Either way… no matter how it is… I am eager to see them._

_As my last words on these scant pages of memory, I will finish Orpherus's final words for him... words taken from a poem called "Israfel" by the American author Edgar Allan Poe. Mina tells me Ludwig read Poe often, and I can only suspect that Orpherus picked up the reading in the short time he had after Ludwig's death._

_Here are the words:_

"_If I could dwell where Israfel hath dwelt, and he where I, he might not sing so wildly well a mortal melody; while a bolder note than this might swell from my lyre within the sky."_

_Eduard Markgraf von Sekt Nahe Braunschweig_


End file.
